Expert: Melanie R Jones, PT MTC - 12/31/2011

Question
My adult child is in desperate need of a psychologist, mentor or a coach who can understand him as well as help him understand the basic skills needed to have a happy future. I can't seem to find anyone who works with adult Aspies (doesn't have an 'official' diagnosis). He struggled but completed college in 7 yrs, yet can't wrap his mind around what it takes to apply for a 'real' job. I can't financially support him much longer and it's heartbreaking to see him so depressed about life. Any ideas???

Answer
Oh, Nan, this is a classic issue!  My heart breaks for you and your child.  Even with a diagnosis, the support system for adults on the spectrum is very limited ... It's as though we are supposed to evaporate once we hit the 20s.  There are more and more websites in recent years which address those on the ASD spectrum, and a FEW of them are reasonably helpful, at least with very basic information.  The best advice I have is to continue loving him and do what you can to help teach him about himself and what society expects of him.  Employment and especially KEEPING gainful employment is a major problems with ASD, even those at the high-functioning end of the spectrum, not because of job skills or motivational deficits, but because "fitting in" is one of the skills most needed to get and keep almost any sort of job.  It remains easy for an employer to remove an employee because of social awkwardness, especially when the worker isn't good at "following the proper channels" (such as are those in the spectrum).

You probably didn't need me to tell you that, though, you sound as though you have seen it already...

The best route to follow is to locate those interested and willing to help, and to train them as you are able so that they can best help him.  There is a LOT to be gained by someone coming alongside in a supportive and non-critical way to help Aspies/Autistics/ADHD individuals to survive in today's society.

I'm sorry there is not more I can do to help.  This is a major dilemma for affected adults.  Hopefully as the culture begins to understand the ASD spectrum better (by allowing autistic spectrum adults to participate in the research and outreach especially), there will be more opportunity for adults with ASD to thrive.

I wish you the best,
Melanie