Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 3/22/2011

Question
Hi Valerie,
I am a grandmother of a 13,5 month old boy whom I love and adore.  I do not want to discuss my concerns regarding my observation with my daughter, the mother of the boy, because she gets very distressed and paranoid.  
They live in Los Angeles and I live in Seattle.  During my LA visits and some observation of the baby, I noticed that he demonstrates some strange movements, like crawling around the table, climbing stairs up and down, opening and closing doors.  He seems a very happy baby; he smiles and bubbles all the time.  He makes a good eye contact, but he does not point and he does not respond to his name.  He does not walk but tries to do that when holding supporting objects.  I saw him rocking from time to time but I would not say that it was obsessive and lasted for a long time.  He likes to make a mess with his toys and sometimes he chooses one of them to play. When he gets tired, he changes a toy.  I tried to show him books and pictures but it looks like he is not interested.  He likes to play by himself but he notices when I live the room. I don’t know if playing alone is a warning sign or just a lack of his parents’ attention that he is not used to.  He attends a childcare but the caregivers did not find anything alarming in his behavior.  His appetite is good and nobody complained about it, of course, he loves some foods better than the others but it has not been a concern.
My daughter expressed some worries when he did not respond to her voice, or when she called his name. His hearing is good, and when phone rings he turns his head toward the sound. He likes to be cuddled and hugs everybody who holds him.   He is very responsive when somebody is talking to him, he smiles and bubbles, but when he is busy, he does not pay attention to anything.  My daughter called her pediatrician, who said that not responding to his name or pointing by this age is a “red flag” and he has to be evaluated a little later.
Should I be worried or bring up my observation to my daughter?  It looks like I am getting paranoid too, and I just cannot distinguish what is normal and what is not.
I greatly appreciate your response.

Answer
Hi Sofiya

You are not be paranoid, but observant. I would be concerned since you did mention several things that are concerns or "red flags."  Is he talking? Usually, a child of this age is at least starting to say a few words. If he is not speaking meaningful words, isn't responding to his name, not pointing, isn't very social and likes to play alone, opens and closes doors, and goes up and down the stairs a lot, not interested in books or pictures when you read to him, a little bit of a picky eater, then take him to be evaluated by either a developmental pediatrician or the early intervention team in the county. Warning: sometimes the early intervention team doesn't do a good job of determining whether or not there is a problem because they will then have to give services. For a truly objective viewpoint, take him to a developmental pediatrician.

I can always do a checklist with you or your daughter on the phone if you want to do a short consultation. If that is something that you would like to do, just email me at:
info@valerieherskowitz.com

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