Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 5/24/2011

Question
My son will be 11 months old on Friday, and I am worried about some activities/symptoms of autism he has been exhibiting, especially recently.  I have made an appointment to meet with his pediatrician on Friday, but because he is not an autism "expert," I fear he will brush my concerns under the rug since my child is a boy.
Firstly, my son does not speak any words -- he says mama, dada, nana, yaya, baba, but he mostly says dada, and it's more babbling, like dadadadadadada.  I do not think he associates dada with my husband, his father.  He also yells a lot, at very high volumes, I believe to get a reaction from us.  He likes it when we act scared, or react to his outbursts.  It's not mean-spirited yelling, but it's still yelling, and it's loud.
Secondly, when I go into his room at night, many times I find him asleep, but on all fours.  I take this to mean he has been in a crawling position, and rocked himself to sleep.  On our pediatrician's recommendation, we have been letting him cry it out since he was about 5 months old.  Other than bouts with teething, he's been a good sleeper until recently (he has been teething recently, and popped 4 teeth in about 1 month).  He learned to crawl only 1 month ago (just before his 10 month birthday), which is on the later end, I understand.  So I'm not sure if the rocking/crawling in his crib is because of learning to crawl, or if it's an autism-related symptom.  He does not seem to rock too often during the day, unless there's music playing.  Even then, it's generally for a short period.  Before he learned to crawl, I would many times enter his room at night and find him lying on his back, with his two hands clasped (as if praying!) over his eyes.  Pretty odd, I thought.
My son has been hitting all his milestones, but on the later end -- rolled over both ways at 5.5 months; sat up at 6 months; crawled at 10 months, etc.  He pulls himself up to standing, and can sit back down.  He plays peek-a-boo, and initiates games, and he claps when we say "pattycake."  He does not wave good bye, and doesn't point at too many things (but I'm not sure we've been teaching him to do either, in all honesty).    
He doesn't always/often respond to his name, especially when playing with toys, which is the most troubling thing to me.  He is pretty easily self-entertained when he's at home with toys, and will play nicely for long-ish periods of time (like 40 minutes), going from toy to toy, or crawling long-distances.  
He's not into cuddling, but will sit on our laps to read books and be fed a bottle.  He doesn't always make eye contact when we're feeding him because he's oftentimes fiddling with high chair strap or trying to pull something off the table.  He does generally look into a camera, and smile, however, when we're photographing him.  
Lastly, although he now exhibits shyness around strangers, he doesn't get upset when I leave for work.  He stays with one of his grandmothers, and has since he was 5.5 months old, but in the research I've done, by 11 months, shouldn't he be sad when I leave him?
By way of background, according to my parents, I too hated cuddling as a young child, and my husband (according to his parents) would often become so engrossed in his toys that he would play for hours, even to the point of wetting his pants after he was potty-trained.  Neither of us currently exhibit any autistic symptoms, and neither of us were diagnosed with any disorders as children, or experienced any difficulties in this regard.
At any rate, I hope you'll be able to give me some advice.  I'm feeling very worried, and I hope you can point me in the right direction for help (if it's warranted).

Answer
Hi Sarah

I am reading a book right now that talks about intuition and how important it is. So, as a mom, you are feeling like something is just not right. That is your intuition speaking to you and it is telling you something.

It may be just a tad to early to know whether your son's speech is delayed as first meaningful words don't come in until 12-16 months or so. But he should be understanding quite a bit at this time.

The rocking and not interested in cuddling as well as the screaming is not really typical. Also, not responding to his name. But he is still young, so it is hard to tell what this all means.

I would recommend that you cancel the appt with your pediatrician who will tell you not to worry. And then, make an appointment with a DEVELOPMENTAL pediatrician even if it means traveling somewhere to see him or her. These doctors are experts in development and will tell you whether you need to keep your eye on things, not worry or start some interventions. They will tell you one of those three things.

The rocking, yelling, hands over his eyes may all be some sensory problems which may disappear, but you should have an expert in development tell  you that.

So, go with your gut. You are his mother and intuition is so important. Listen to what your brain is telling you and get him checked out. I wouldn't say that I am overly worried by the information that you have given me, but there are some oddities that you need to get checked out.