You are here:
- Home
- Parenting/Family
- Parenting Special Needs
- Autism
- 9 year old son that will not kiss his mom
Autism/9 year old son that will not kiss his mom
Advertisement
Question
Dear Valerie,
My son was just diagnosed with autism, due to behavior challenges. He is highly functioning, extremely bright kid. My problem is that he will not kiss me (or anyone else for that matter), because he feels that he gets hair in his mouth. He said that it feels like 100 hairs. No amount of reasoning helps. And if he finally does kiss my face, after many requests, he promptly wipes his saliva on his shirt (basically spits). I feel disgusted. Even when I want to kiss his face, he turns away and all I get is his side cheek next to his ear. Otherwise, he is highly affectionate and enjoys hugging people.
Is there a way to teach him to let go of the unreasonable notion and kiss me?
Thank you, I appreciate your help.
Dear Rita
People with autism often have sensory issues that cause them to have problems with things such as affectionate gestures.
You can work with from a sensory perspective by using a washcloth 3 times a day and lightly rubbing his lips a few times. Very lightly so it doesn't cause any dryness to his lips. After time, he should become less sensitive on his lips.
From a global perspective, a good OT can work with you on improving his sensory system.
Meanwhile, just let him hug. Not all boys that are nine want to kiss or be kissed by their moms anyway. LOL
Related Articles
- Additional Symptoms of Autism - Comorbid Symptoms of Autism
- First Kiss While Sharing a Bed at a Sleepover - Reader Stories: My First Kiss
- In a Gondola - Robert Browning (1812-1883)
- Robert Browning - In a Gondola - Robert Browning (1812-1883)
- My Himalayan Cats Jaspurr and Purrcy - Reader Stories: Living with a Himalayan Cat
Answers by Expert:
Valerie Herskowitz
Expertise
I am an autism expert and speech pathologist (for over 30 years). I am also the parent of a child with autism. I can answer any question on autism dealing with communication, education, behavior and diet. I cannot answer questions that are medical in nature or are dealing with medications.
Experience
I have run a therapy center for individuals with autism since 1981. I lecture all over the country. I also teach classes on autism on line.
Organizations
Vice President of Communications Florida Association of Speech-Language Pathologists and Audiologists
Member American Speech and Hearing Association,
MembernAutism Society of America,
President of the National Autism Registry,
Vice President of the Association for Developmentally Disabled Adults and Adolescents.
Publications
Autism Society of America's national publication (September 2008).
Advance Magazine,
South Florida Parenting,
Spectrum Magazine,
I am the author of: Autism and Computers: Maximizing Independence Through Technology (available:www.valerieherskowitz.com)
Education/Credentials
I have a masters degree in speech pathology
Awards and Honors
I won a Stevie Award in 2004: Lifetime Achievement Award for my work with individuals with autism. My therapy center won, Judge's Choice Award Best Center in South Florida by South Florida Parenting magazine 2005.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.