Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 7/3/2011

Question
Oh dear I'm at my wits ends with my 10yr old daughter (Monique) who has autism and is non verbal
for the past 8 yrs and just had her first period.  For several years now she has used wipes for toileting which works very well  and she used the  same routine with her first period and removed her undies and soaked them in the vanity which I praised her big time. The blood didn't faze her atall
as she doesn't relate to blood as being a worry.  About year back i did a social story about touching private parts and it worked very well, but I'm confused how to put a social story in the correct manner for periods. When I noticed her periods I showed Monique a panty liner - 1 for her and 1 for Mum. I put one in my undies and she watched seriously and all of a sudden she ripped the liner off my pants before I had a chance to pull them up and ran outside and threw the both over the back deck. No stressing just the look of death to Mum.  My next step was to introduce the panty liner again and a treat (strawberry chocolate frog) which I use for meds which  works well. Changed the routine next attempt and asked if she wore this liner in her pants to keep her undies clean  she can have the treat as a reward. She got very crankly when I put liner in pants , so I left with the frog and liner in tow out of the bathroom. Nothing was worn for the 3 days of her period, but being a first it wasn't much just enough to soil to require 3 changes each day.I was 10yr when I had my first period and didn't have another for a year, so I'm hoping she may be like her Mum.  Any help would be greatly appreciated and thankyou for your time.  Cheers Karen

Answer
Hi Karen

Whether your daughter is having a period now and not another one for a couple of years, you are still going to have to deal with the issue.

You mention social stories-that's a good thing for this situation as well. I would do it more as a step-by=step type thing. "When we see blood on our undies, we go into the bathroom and get a pad. Then we put the pad in our underpants." Make the social story very visual with photos. You can even do one on the computer using PowerPoint.

I also recommend getting a doll and practicing with the doll and "rewarding" the doll with hugs and kisses for wearing her pad. You may have to make a little pad with paper and tape.

You still are going to have to deal with it behaviorally. Use a treat that she loves but only gets for these situations.

Rome isn't built in a day. Each month, things will improve as she gets used to it. I wouldn't worry so much as eventually she will understand and be ok wearing the pad.

Keep in touch and let me know how it goes.