Expert: Valerie Herskowitz - 8/29/2011

Question
Hi Valerie,
I am so lost and confused.  My son is receiving early intervention because of a receptive and expressive language delay.  I thought the fact that he always smiles back and looks me in the eye was a sign that he couldn’t possibly be autistic, until I recently read that eye contact and smiling can occur in autistic children. I am still waiting for him to point anything out to me, such as a fun toy or even something he wants. He will look if I point something out, and will even look back at me afterwards, but he hasn’t initiated any pointing yet.
His language is developing slowly - the babbling is inconsistent. He recently started screeching out of frustration - but we can easily distract him and he'll stop. I can't tell if this is the toddler temper or another warning sign. He's always slept pretty well, was never colicky or totally quiet.
On top of this, my family includes some late talkers and late walkers (at just 13 months, he started cruising a few weeks ago and can take two or so steps before sitting down), so I thought the doctors were being over-protective because of the rise in autism diagnoses.
Here’s my question – I am able to make eye contact when I am not holding him, but he rarely looks me in the eye if I am holding him. Is this a bad sign as well?
I'm afraid I am going to exhaust myself looking for signs one way or the other. He is the light of my life, and I tell myself to just enjoy him.

Answer
Hi Carrie
You didn't mention how old your son is, but I am guessing around 16 months?

So I am assuming that he isn't speaking. Is he following directions?

The eye contact is a concern since it coincides with the language delay.

Make sure that your therapist is working with him to learn to point to a picture to tell you what he wants since he is so frustrated.

You can write back if you have any other concerns. I am here for you