Expert: Dr. Judy Horrocks - 1/20/2012

Question
Do you have any suggestions on how to assist an autistic male teenager deal with his feelings, comments, and actions that are becoming significantly inappropriate in the middle school setting, and causing others to avoid him? This student recently has been touching other boys arms and chests, and making inappropriate comments to them. We are in a suburban middle class area and the boy has been with the other approx. 300 students since 1st grade. Even though the boys involved are embarrassed and upset, they refrain from aggression because they know he is special. I am the student's special education case manager. I spend several hours a day with him in co-taught regular 7th grade classes. I fear that this consideration on the part of his peers will soon end, and that situations can and will occur forcing a manifestation PPT meeting. He has been given appropriate consequences, he has an outside therapist and his parents have been involved, but don't seem clear on the issue. Thanks

Answer
First, whether this young man is homosexual or heterosexual his behavior is inappropriate.  I think your consideration of his sexuality is complicating the issue, touching others and making inappropriate comments to them in school should not be tolerated.  Autism, or any other disability, is not an excuse for misbehavior.  Focus on the behavior and teach this young man appropriate actions in school.  It would be unfair to ask other students to tolerate his behavior and in the long run, not good for your student either.  The tolerance actually makes the behavioral consequences less effective because they are not consistent.  You need to develop a consistent behavior plan for how to deal with this student's behavior and a component of the plan needs to be helping him to know what is appropriate in public places and what he could do if he is experiencing a physical reaction. (such as asking to use the bathroom, taking a break, etc. to remove himself from the situation.)

All of our students will become sexual beings and need to learn about their bodies.  However, that is not something that can be taught in school and should be directed and controlled by his parents.  His parents need to seek out an experienced psychologist or medical professional to help them educate their son about his body and sexual development.  First, he needs to understand what is happening with his body and what to do to relieve sexual urges.  If is able to understand relationships with others, that will come, but his behavior in public places must be held to a high standard. For example, as he gets older, if he exposed himself in a public place regardless of the reason, he could be arrested by the police (especially if it occurred in front of a young child).  We would expect nothing less.  So, please teach him now.  

Adolescence is hard for all children, their bodies are changing and they have unexpected urges.  All young men and women need to be taught appropriate behavior.  Don't lower your expectations for your student.

Sincerely,

Dr Judy Horrocks