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Autism/autism , school , my rights


hi my son is 8 yrs old with autism, he had a incedent at school with another child, the other child tried to take my son sausage from my sons dinner plate which resolted in my son bitting the childs hand, now my childs punishment was that he was not allowed to go to the panto the follwing day and he had to go into school with 1 teacher, whilst the whole school went to the panto, i am all up for my child being punished but we have also specified to the school that beacuse he has ASD he needs to be punished the minute he has done wrong, he was also put into a differnet class for 10 minutes with older children, which is hes usual punishment,do you think the panto punishment is right?, my son felt he was not in the wrong, he has gone to school, he feels alone and he was exstreamly upset, i just dont know what to do in htis situation, we have taken our son into school becausse its the law but to see hes face was heart breaking, the children will be back at 3pm and school closes at 3.30pm he will then have all hte children telling him how wonderful the panto was and why was he not there, do you think the school could of dealt with this better? and can i pick up my son at 2.45pm so he does not have to go through the heartachce all over again

It's rough to watch your child hurting, isn't it?

It sounds like the school was trying to give a firm message to your boy that biting is not allowed. You're right that immediate consequences are ideal. The school may have been trying to make a lasting impression this time in the hope of preventing a further incident. Hopefully, the child who stole your son's sausage received some type of reprimand as well.

The thing for your boy to get out of this is that he was not wrong to defend his sausage, but the method he chose was wrong. Not reacting impulsively is a skill children, even those with ASDs, can learn. You could help with this training by role playing with him things he could have said or done in this situation. Brainstorm some ideas - make some of them silly, some sensible and discuss with him the possible ramifications of each choice. Then, from the list, have him pick two or three ideas that he would try next time.

Does he have a "go to" person in the school that he can talk to when he's upset or unsure of what to do? Is there a place he can go if he feels the need to calm himself?

You know your child best. If you think that he has had enough by 2:45 that day, yes I think it appropriate for you to pick him up early.

Best wishes,


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Dr. Sharon A. Mitchell


Sharon can help with parenting and educational concerns. She has worked in teaching, special education, counseling and consulting for over thirty years and gives workshops to educators and parents on working with kids with autism spectrum disorders. Sharon speaks from both the education and parent points of view, having an adult son with Asperger's.


Sharon has spent decades as a special education consultant with a school district and autism consult for the province's Department of Education, giving workshops and individual consults. Currently she works as regional autism consultant for a health district in between teaching university classes. She is an Amazon bestselling author or a series of novels, each depicting a child who has an autism spectrum disorder. Sharon's Master's thesis looked at the long-term outlook for persons with high functioning autism and Asperger's. Her Doctorate focused on strategies to help those with autism spectrum disorders.

Website at and sits on Autism Today's Panel of Experts (

Author of "Autism Goes to School" - a novel about autism that that became an Amazon bestseller. Get this Amazon bestseller free at In the next book, Autism Runs Away, Ethan is only in grade one and already has been kicked out of one school due to his tantrums and pattern of running away when in a panic. Now in a new school his mom remains glued to her phone, waiting for the call to tell her that they don’t know what to do with a child who has autism. Sara is about to learn if this new school is up to the challenge. ( Autism Belongs is the 3rd book. Manny's life has shrank to the confines of their house. His parents are desperate not to rock his world because the aggression has gotten to much worse. Where will this lead? Is there a chance that Manny could actually belong out in the world? You bet! Get a free sample at Book four, Autism Talks and Talks, is about a 12 year old girl who has Asperger's. She's bright, inquisitive, highly verbal, but lacks social skills. Try a free sample at Book five, Autism Grows Up features Suzie, a bright, twenty-one year old whose life collapsed after she finished high school. Now, she lives in her mother's basement, spending nights on her computer, afraid to broach the world outside their door. Autism Grows Up is found at Prefer a boxed set? Get the first 3 books bundled together at Co-author of bestseller, The Official Autism 101 Manual (

B.A. in Psychology, B.Ed. in Special Education, M.A. in Educational Leadership PhD. in Psychology Management, specializing in autism.

Awards and Honors
B.R.A.G. Medallion for the novel Autism Goes to School - Book 1 in the School Daze Series. ( Like Autism Goes to School, the third book in the series, Autism Belongs, also ranked #1 on Amazon ( Manny is not like other children. He doesn’t talk. He doesn’t leave the house. His parents desperately try to arrange their world so that Manny does not get upset. Because, when he does, well, the aggression was getting worse. At ten, Manny was becoming difficult to handle.

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