This is about autism.
We all are aware that autism makes it difficult for people to understand the social world. This can affect nearly all parts of a persons life. Here my question is about love and communication. It may happen that a person like someone. It could either be liking another in a friendly way or liking someone in a more "falling in love" way (that could also be friendly). Now feelings are involved. Autism makes understanding feelings difficult.
Let's take an example: the person with autism start a new job or come to another place where he meet nice people. He meet this nice woman (he never really talks with women except for her). Somehow he get feelings for her and really like her. Now this person with autism is confused. He desperatly wants a relationship (maybe not even romantic) with her other than the job relationship. He just don't know what to do. He is bad at communication (and expressing his feelings and thought). Neither is he good at understanding the woman. He is very intelectual but this is difficult. Autism make it difficult for him to even know what relationship he wants or what the woman wants. He at least know that they only meet at work. Autism made this person very lonely (even amongst people). Autism makes certain experiences more painful than for neurotypicals and he is more prone to feeö hurt than neurotypicals.
What should we tell this autistic person?

Nothing different than what a neurotypical person would do. Take the plunge and ask her to go out for coffee or to the movies. If she likes him, she will accept. If not, she won't.

I would also recommend that before he asks her out, he should practice with a friend so that when he actually gets the nerve to ask, he will be more comfortable.  


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Valerie Herskowitz


I am an autism expert and speech pathologist (for over 30 years). I am also the parent of a child with autism. I can answer any question on autism dealing with communication, education, behavior and diet. I cannot answer questions that are medical in nature or are dealing with medications.


I have ran a therapy center for individuals with autism until 2008. I lecture all over the country. I am a writer on the subject of autism. I also teach classes on autism on line to students and other speech pathologists.

President-elect: Florida Association of Speech-Language Pathologists and Audiologists Member American Speech and Hearing Association, MembernAutism Society of America, President of the National Autism Registry, Vice President of the Association for Developmentally Disabled Adults and Adolescents.

I am the author of: Always Leave Them Laughing: The Future of Our Children with Developmental Disabilities Must Be Addressed Available from Amazon: Available from Smashwords: Autism and Computers: Maximizing Independence Through Technology Available from Amazon: Contributor to: Cutting Edges in Autism Therapy 2010, 2011, 2012 Autism Society of America's national publication (September 2008). Advance Magazine, South Florida Parenting, Spectrum Magazine,

I have a masters degree in speech pathology

Awards and Honors
I won a Stevie Award in 2004: Lifetime Achievement Award for my work with individuals with autism. My therapy center won, Judge's Choice Award Best Center in South Florida by South Florida Parenting magazine 2005.

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