Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 5/20/2006

Question
My son was diagnosed with autism in louisville by a neurologist that specializes in cp at the age of 16 months.  He did not do any one on one eval with him it was more of a yes or no questionier for me. At 2 years old we took him to a specialist at the Dan Marino Center in florida were the doc. said he has pdd/nos.  This doctor spent at least 1 hour interacting with my son. He also told me that if we did nothing he would probably be fine.

At 18 months Tyler knew his abc's in and out of order,all his colors, all his shapes, and could count to 20.  he obssesed over these things.  He was not talking other than saying his numbers. The other skills were shown by asking were is the "g" or  were is the pentigon. He was also very to himself.  He started to recive OT, ST, and he saw a developmental interventioist once a week for an hour each. He improved quickly and at 3 graduated from these therapies (First Steps). Tyler then started preschool and it was hard at first, he was having short tantrums none lasting mor than 10 seconds or so.  His speech was still delayed about 6-9 months. About one month into it he was interacting very well.  He would listen and follow directions without any issues.  Tyler is 3 1/2 now and I have just had a baby 2 1/2 months ago and he has not taken it well.  At first he ignored me. This only lasted about a week. After that week things got much worse. He now is having major tantrums at school and at home.  Just saying his name can trigger it. They last anywere fron 30 seconds up to 10 min.  We have tried to handle it in a few ways but nothing is working.  He has recently started throwing things at his head (balls, toys ect.) The last two days he has tossed sand in his eyes and the next day mulch. Today he was upset because i told him no and he walked up to the side of our home and banged his head on it.
Do you think he is regressing or just acting out in an attempt to get more attention?
What is the best way to stop the tantrums?
He has no stems but he doesn't want to listen, follow dirctions, or listen to reason. Should we seek more therapy?
Should we have him re evaluated?

Sorry, I'm going on and on. Any input would be a great help.


Answer
Hi Robin,

I am glad you wrote to me. Our eldest daughter is the child with an autistic disorder. This very reaction happened when our second child was born.

No, he is not just trying to get attention. He is deeply enmeshed with his primary parent (you) and does not know how to communicate the betrayal he feels. He will not "just get over it" without a great deal of time and help.

His behaviors are his way of communicating his emotional confusion and pain.

So, what can you do? First, be aware that he is so attached to you because he has come to depend on interpreting the world by watching you. This is actually a common coping mechanism for autistic children. You have always been available and now he has to share your attention with this mysterious intruder.

Let me say something hopeful right now. Someday, he may learn to love his siblings as our daughters have learned to love and support each other.  

However, it can be a long road from here to there. You must be aware that he may begin go turn his anger upon the baby. You should never leave him alone with the baby as he does not understand that others have feelings and can be hurt by his actions. He is too young, even if he were "normal", to foresee the consequences of his actions.

Do seek out some therapy for your son to help him understand, as much as he can, the change in your family. He needs support from a well trained child psychologist or social worker. A reevaluation is probably not necessary, what you tell me fits perfectly with an autistic spectrum disorder.

Also, YOU need support. Seek out a parent's group where you can talk to others who have dealt with this and who can offer you "tricks of the trade." Read as much as you can find about parenting autistic children.

Here are some web links where you can find articles and books:

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm

http://www.autism.org/temple/meds.html

http://www.autism.org/

http://www.autismasperger.net/intro.htm

Feel free to write to me again.

Best wishes,
Catherine