Expert: James Michael Roan - 5/29/2007

Question
QUESTION: My son will be turning 4 in June. He is a brilliant child. However, he is also a very difficult child. I'm a stay at home Mom - my husband works normal hours - and he is our only child. He is afraid to be around other people, and it's getting worse. We've almost alienated all family because he can't be in a group - no matter who it is. He doesn't want to go to the park anymore, or if we do, and he sees other kids, he will insist on playing in a different area. He just doesn't seem to be enjoying much anymore.He hates to have his head touched. Refused to get hair wet, it hasn't actually been shampooed in months. Will only eat limited food, is sensitive to sounds, touch, the way his clothes feel. So, my Question is - What do I do now? Get a medical opinion to see if there is something wrong? Can we get that from our pediatrician? Thank you for your time. I'd appreciate any info you could pass along.

ANSWER: Hi Tracey;

I would suggest you have him evaluated by someone specializing in high functioning autism/Asperger's Syndrome. How is his speech in terms of volume and intonation? Can you chat with him in a "shared" communication? What is the frequency and quality of his eye contact?

Kind regards,
James

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Hi James - just wanted to mention something else to you. My son still sleeps in his crib, he's afraid to sleep in his big boy bed. Potty training has been difficult. Most of the time he does great at home but will not go in public bathroom, so we put a diaper on. He will also ask for diaper for a bm and he needs one at night. We also still give a bottle. I'm not sure if these things are symptomatic of any disorder, or our lack of parenting skills in helping him over these hurdles. Any thoughts? Thank you.  

Answer
Hi Tracey;

Your son's desire not to go in public relates to his social anxiety. Many potty training difficulties develop from some degree of anxiety. I would not worry about it. It is not due to parenting at all. Don't force the issue, punish, or embarrass him over it, it will only make the situation worse! His crib and potty issues appear to be both related to a general anxiety caused by a social phobia of unknown origin. I'm not diagnosing here just making some observations.

It is possible that he has a social anxiety disorder rather than high functioning autism. I do not know.

Kind regards,
Jim