Expert: James Michael Roan - 3/10/2007

Question
I'm 26 years old, & I know this may sound odd but I believe that I may have autism.  My 3 year old son was recently diagnosed with mild autism & I'm realizing that I have many of the common symptoms.  Here are my issues:

1. I have always had a hard time looking people in the eye.  I can do it, but it has never been comfortable to do so.

2. I have & still do hit myself in the face on occassion when I become VERY frustrated.  I am aware that this is strange, but I don't even think before I do it.  Its very impulsive.

3. I have to have things arranged in a very particular way.  My clothes are arranged in the closet according to sleeve-length & then subcategorized by material.  I also make sure that the hangers are spaced evenly.  Basically everything must be grouped accordingly ... if I'm loading the dishwasher, the plastic plates must go together & in front of the ceramic ones, etc ... you get my point.  And I realize that it doesn't matter, but I have to do it or else it will bother me.  But I don't wash my hands a hundred times a day or have any other strange rituals, I just have to have things grouped a certain way.  
4.  When I was younger I used to get spankings because I would refuse to say I was sorry.  And I still have issue with apologizing when I don't feel I did anything wrong.  I often have a hard time understanding why people get so upset over the things I say or do.  I often cannot understand their feelings regarding the matter, even when I try.  I just cannot relate.  
5.  I am a little odd I guess you would say.  My boyfriend would say that I am goofy, hyper, childish at times.  I make funny sounds sometimes when I'm doing something but it is so normal for me.  I realize that most others don't do that, but I always have.  Sometimes I just feel this urge to open and close my hands or make a silly gesture or something.  I have this strange tingling in my hands and I just do it.  Its not often that I do that but I do.  Also you can easily read my feelings by looking at my face or body language.  I can't really hide them.  However when I'm not really thinking about anything people that don't know me always ask if I am angry.  I'm often caught staring off into space.  I don't even realize it.  
  
6.  I don't dislike affection but I often push people away when they go to hug me.  I can be in a great mood but most of the time I don't want people "up on me".  My sex life is horrible because I am never in the mood because most of the time I don't want him ... in there.  Sorry I don't know how else to put it.
7.  When I get frustrated I get really frustrated.  It has affected my work, because I can't hide it well.  I cry, I get too emotional "sensitive" I guess.  It usually happens when something doesn't go as planned, or I dont' feel I have time to fix/do something.  
8. I have spent months at a time without ANY interpersonal interaction & been pretty fine with it.  I've always been an introvert.  Never one for sports.  I have no friends right now.  I blamed it on being a mom but honestly even when I have the chance I just don't have the desire "drive" to go be social.  Sometimes when I'm having conversations with new people I feel akward.  I don't know ... I can't make it flow or something.  I'm not very good with ending conversations either, as I do it rather suddenly, & I think people are taken aback by that.

I could go on and on about other things that lead me to believe I am an adult with undiagnosed autism.  I will say that when I was younger I was in advanced classes & had a higher than normal IQ ... but I'm no genuis.  

What do you think?  If you have any information regarding books, websites, where I should go from here ... I would appreciate it.  I feel that I've been misunderstood & treated differently my whole life by family & friends.  Maybe this is why.  

Answer
Hi Kelli;

As you know, I cannot and do not diagnose over the Internet. I do, however, strongly recommend you pick up a book about adult Asperger's Syndrome, which is a form of high-functioning autism. You can also find out much on the Internet. Tony Attwood is an excellent source for material, although keep in mind there is little research at this point in history on adult Asperger's. Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen is another excellent reference.

Let me know if I can help with any specific questions.

Kind regards,
James