Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 3/6/2007

Question
Hi Catherine... I have a son with PDD-NOS, he is 5.  His preschool gave me a glowing progress report saying that he is using age appropriate language and is understand by peers and teachers alike.  Since I am a stay at home mom, I see my son ALL THE TIME and know that his language is NOT at all where his peers are at... he uses words out of context, mixes up phrases and rarely speaks in a complete sentence.  His articulation varies, but he is difficult for me and other family members and friends to understand on frequent occasions.  Where can I find a listing of "age appropriate benchmarks"?  I have a progress wheel from Help Me Grow and it simply says that (for language) 5 yr. olds should "answer verbally to Hi and How are You?" I am having a difficult time getting the school to "see what I see" even though we have a thorough diagnosis and recent assessments completed.  I am wondering if it's because my son can "fake it" with some coping strategies that he has developed to fit in.  Either way, he will suffer if they don't look and listen closer.

Answer
Hi Juliana,

I agree with you that if you can't understand him there is a problem. Usually, the primary parent is the one who understands the child's communication best.

You are likely correct that he is "faking" by minimizing his responses or using formulated responses. This is a common coping strategy for autistic spectrum individuals and also for those who do not speak English as their native language.

In reality, it should not be hard to compare his speech ability to his peers just by observation. But, there is great incentive for teachers to over-estimate ability in a challenged child because they have "goals" to reach. If the child is not progressing, the teachers get pressure to perform better. You may have to talk to the teacher and make them aware you are happier with reality and efforts aimed at improvement, even if it is slower than desired, than with good reports. Ask to visit the classroom and observe him. Take notes and discuss them with his teacher. Call a meeting of the IEP team if you think that is necessary.

If your son does not receive speech therapy from a qualified speech specialist, this would be the first place to start. They have the skills to help him best. A good speech therapist will also train you in home strategies.

In my experience, normal 4 and 5 year olds talk nearly non-stop. Boys talk somewhat less than girls, but still ask many questions.

I am going to include some links where you can do more research. In the end, a committed, persistent parent is his best ally.

http://www.angelfire.com/pa5/as/asteachersites.html (teaching resources)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.autism.org/ (many links to information)

http://school.familyeducation.com/special-education/education-and-state/34580.ht... (well written information, sorry about all the advertisements)

Best wishes,
Catherine