Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 9/19/2007

Question
QUESTION: I am the parent of an 8 year old child with AS, he does not adjust well to change and has just started a new school this year. He has been experiencing some negative behavior related to one particular teacher, who he had a previous negative interaction with, and in the computer lab with a game that he does not do well with. Today he refused to go to computer lab and did go to the office to do his work (the office is not a negative place for him. He later went back to his class and when he was told he would need to spend recess in study hall due to not turning in his homework he refused to respond and flipped over a desk. He does not usually show any violent behavior, but today he had to be physically removed from the class because other children were getting ready to come into the room. He had completed the homework in question although I do not know if he had indeed turned that in. I am concerned for his safety and that of the other children. Please give me some suggestions. He is very precocious with his language skills. We live in Virginia.

ANSWER: Hi Amy,

Let's talk about personality conflicts, first. Anyone can have a teacher with whom they do not "jive." It is a hard situation, even for a child without AS. For an AS kid, it's nearly impossible to overcome. There is probably little choice about which class he is in but if he can be moved to another that might be a good idea. AS kids do not forgive and forget.

You already know that AS kids tend to react before they have time to think about consequences. In fact, one of the hallmarks of AS is the inability to foresee the consequences of one's actions. Discipline, then, needs to focus on LOGICAL consequences. While going to the office to do his work instead of the computer lab probably made sense to him, missing recess over not turning in homework may not have been connected enough. AS kid tend to have a very rigid sense of justice and it can be kind of an odd one, to us.

I think it is very important to ask him what happened. There may be more to the story than you have heard from the teacher. If you know him to be generally truthful, believe him.

In the case of flipping the desk, it is hard to name a consequence that seems to fit. He should be required to right the desk and clean up the papers or whatever else fell on the floor. I'm not certain why he was "physically removed" from the room just because other children were coming in. Did he continue to shout, make threats or behave violently? Usually, this kind of outburst is very brief and self-contained. I doubt he posed a threat to the other children.

Now, a word about puberty. Eight is kind of early, but the hormones may have begun to circulate. If this is the case, he may begin to exhibit more aggressive behavior as the testosterone comes into play. Adolescence can be a very difficult time for AS kids.

Call a meeting of his IEP team and discuss the kinds of discipline that will be used. By all means, physically confronting him should be avoided whenever possible. His natural reaction will be to resist and even fight back if restrained. A small situation can escalate into a full blown  confrontation.

Since he is verbally advanced, explain it all to him. Tell him that throwing furniture can hurt him or others and that it is unacceptable. Then, and this is very important, give him a way to express his anger that is socially acceptable. I'm not a fan of letting kids be sassy, but he needs to be able to tell the teacher how he feels. "It makes me mad to miss recess. I want to go out and play." The teacher should acknowledge his feelings even as he/she enforces the rule. "I know you are feeling angry about missing recess, NEVERTHELESS, you will need to stay in to make up the homework."

Since you live in Virginia, I suspect the southern culture does not allow much "back talk" from kids, especially in school. If he is expected to respond, "Yes, Ma'am." to a teacher's directive, then it is going to be harder to handle the anger issues. AS kids seldom know they are angry until it bursts forth in full fury. Focus on teaching him to recognize the signals such as tight stomach, hot face, clenched fists, so that he knows he is building up to an outburst. Then, teach him how to take a deep breath and choose to be calm. It will take time, but he needs direct education in emotional control, it does not come naturally to him.

I would recommend discussing the concept of "picking one's battles" with the teacher. I'm not advocating letting him off without consequences, but I am saying that they need to ignore what looks like bad attitude. As long as he complies with the directions he is given, that should be good enough. He does not have to look happy about it.

I hope this has been helpful. Each child is different so there is no one-size-fits-all technique. Keep the dialogue open with the school.

Best wishes,
Catherine

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you for the response. I have found out more information after speaking with my son, he refused to respond or comply with the teachers or principles after this happened, and due to his continued anger they felt he could harm himself of others which is why he was physically removed. After he was removed he was placed into a calm environment with an adult that he trusts to calm down. He still is unable to say why or what made him angry. The best I can figure is that he did not turn in the homework in question and when told he would have to repeat it, he tore up a number of his papers, including his homework paper. I do believe that he did not think it "fair" that he repeat something he had already done even though the teacher did not have it. I have contacted a school locally, Virginia Institute of Autism, and they have given me information regarding ABA resources. Is this something that may help him to control his impulsivity? What kind of resources can we find to help with emotional control?

Answer
Hi again,

Applied Behavioral Analysis is one way to intervene in the behavior of autistic children. It can be useful for some. I think that AS kids are not as likely to benefit because it is a very rigid system and AS kids get annoyed with its repetitive nature. Look over some of the materials before you decide if this is they way to go.

Controlling his impulsivity is going to be more a matter of maturity than using any one behavior management program. AS kids are usually about 3-5 years behind their age in emotional maturity. The good news is that they do continue to gain emotional maturity as they grow up. The gap closes.

Emotional control is something that children learn by following the modeling of adults around them. Because your son has AS, he is probably oblivious to the subtle clues that would teach him this. So, look for a "social stories". These are little books designed to address one specific social situation at a time, such as sharing toys.

You can find these from many sources. Type "social stories" into a search engine and visit some of the sites. Here is a link to an article at autism.org <http://www.autism.org/stories.html>

Here is a list of more websites where you can get more information:

http://www.neurodiversity.com/main.html (many links to books, articles and resources)

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm (the definitions and
government links)

http://www.angelfire.com/pa5/as/asteachersites.html (teaching resources)

http://www.aspergers.com/Adolesc.htm (adolescence and puberty issues)

http://www.autismasperger.net/intro.htm (Stephen Shore’s web site)

http://school.familyeducation.com/special-education/education-and-state/34580.ht (well written, sorry about all the advertisements)

http://www.rettdevil.org (a discussion board for parents and persons with neurological and developmental disorders)

Best wishes,
Catherine