Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 9/13/2005

Question
My son is 12 and was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.  He also has either ADHD or Bipolar disorder.  He has many social problems at school, unfortunately, with the teachers as well as the other students.  I am very frustrated because he is close to failing at least two of his classes because he doesn't turn in his homework assignments and he is now failing tests because he doesn't take notes well.  His behavior is a challenge:  inappropriate touching, blurting out answers and other comments, tripping people in the hallway and generally being the class clown.  Unfortunately, the other children do not think that things are funny the way he does.  The school wants to put him on a behavior plan and give him detention if he doesn't have it filled out every day.  He can't even get his planner filled in every day so that he knows what homework he has.  The school will not help because they say he must be failing a majority of his classes.  He is also in honors classes and they want to switch him to regular classes to make it easier for him, but he is bored already and I don't want to lower the standards because they don't want to do their job.  I don't know where to start, HELP!
Natalie

Answer
Hi Natalie,

I'm going to number things to keep this easier to read.

1.  Your son is entitled to an appropriate education regardless of his disability.  If he's intellectually gifted, he belongs in honors classes.  If he does not have an Individual Education Plan, contact your local Educational Services District or the State Board of Education and insist that one be created for him.  You are entitled to be in on the planning, don't let them build it without you.  He may benefit from having an aide to help him control his behavior for awhile.  If you have to threaten legal action, do it.

2.  Get a firm test for the ADHD, if you can.  Medication for it works for Asperger's kids just as for others.  My daughter also has ADD along with her A.S.  Now, Bi-polar disorder COULD exist, but it is often mistakenly diagnosed in Asperger people.  Depression is a definite possibility because your son is smart enough to know he's different and shunned.  He probably wants to do well but can't given his present social abilities.  If he's depressed, an anti-depressant may also be appropriate.  For our daughter, it was very helpful.  

3.  Behavior plans can be set up to reward good behavior instead of punish the bad.  In my opinion, what gets attention is reinforced.  Better to show him what he's doing right.

4.  When Asperger's is not diagnosed before the child is around 4 or 5 years old, it is much harder to train the social skills using "social stories" and occupational therapy.  None-the-less, your son can learn more appropriate behavior over time.  The important thing to know here is that A.S. people seem to lack the ability to generalize.  So, just because he learns not to touch someone in the hall does not mean he won't do it in the grocery store.  Different circumstances have to be learned one at a time.  They also lack what is called "theory of mind" which means he has no clue what other people might be thinking or feeling.  So, he can't predict a negative reaction to his behavior.

5.  Believe it or not, he may continue to fail his high school classes but do well in college.  For one thing, maturity does help.  For another, he will find himself in a much more diverse community that may include others like himself.  Academia is full of "Aspies".  

6.  Most A.S. people have a field of interest that is a passion for them.  Find out what your son's is and get the school to build his assignments around it.  Engaging this drive will go a long way.  If he's into computers, make everything a computer based project.  I hope you will read Temple Grandin's interview. (She is a High-functioning Autistic and author/business woman.) It can be found at http://www.autism.org/interview/temp_int.html

7.  Take care of yourself!  You are in for a long road.  There IS light at the end of the tunnel, though.  Do as much research as you can.  Read books, surf the net.  Here are a couple more links to get you started.
http://www.austismasperger.net
http://www.autism-society.org

Best wishes to you and your son.  Feel free to ask any follow-up questions you need to.  I know you are feeling overwhelmed.

Catherine