AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
NOTE:
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Hi~
My baby is 12 weeks old, but I have noticed since almost birth that he was different. When he has crying fits, I can't console him. It is like he still doesn't know that I am his mother. He is uncomfortable most of the time making eye contact, and if forced to, usually looks away and cries or fusses. He seems to be nervous at times, rubbing his hands together. He doesn't like to cuddle or be held most of the time. That is what first scared me about him. We thought that he had acid reflux or a formula allergy because of his constant crying, but when we put him down on say his changing table or something, he would stop crying. We changed his formula several times and put him on medication for reflux, but nothing helped. He also had a rapid head growth spurt (almost 2 inches from birth to one month) and I read that this could be any early sign. I just know that babies this age should love to cuddle with their mother and look at them and he seems uncomfortable with both of them. He will, at times, lay on the floor and smile at us and look at his toys that we hold up for him, but not a lot. He is extremely fussy and just seems miserable. I know that he is young, but I can't stop worrying that something is wrong. He hates tummy-time, but can put his head completely up when placed on belly and look around. He also rolls over from his belly onto his back. It is just his behavior that bothers me. What are your thoughts?
Answer -
Hi Tracy,
I agree with you that his behavior is concerning. I will tell you that my daughter was also almost impossible to console at times. However, she did not seem happier being put down than being held. I don't recall her shunning eye contact either, but that was 20 years ago. It was assumed she had "colic".
It is important that you don't take "wait and see" as an answer for very long. It's tricky to diagnose autistic spectrum disorders in very young babies, but not impossible. However, it may take a year or more to be sure.
In the meantime: continue to parent him as a "normal" child as much as possible, because interaction with you is very important. However, if forcing eye contact with you causes him to pull away, offer comfort in ways he seems to accept. I have been told, by autistic adults, that they experience discomfort when forced to engage in types of contact they are not "wired" for.
Also, light stroking usually upsets those with autistic spectrum disorders. Handle him with gently firm pressure, swaddle him if he likes, hold him closely with a confident strength. He may find this calming.
If you don't have a baby swing, get one. Swinging calms almost all babies and those on spectrum especially. Introduce the swinging motion gradually or he may panic. Once he gets the feel for it, he will probably love it and you will get some peace and quiet.
Keep in mind, he may turn out to be perfectly normal and this may just be a slow start. It's important not to jump to the conclusion he's "hopelessly autistic". There is almost no such thing now that we are learning more about the disorder. Also, I want you to know I know many adults with spectrum disorders who are happy and successful adults.
As time goes on, if you see more signs, start "rattling cages" with your doctor to get a referral to a specialist. On the other hand, if things get no worse and he continues to roll over, sit, stand, walk, babble and point at things(that one is a very strong indicator) I think you can relax.
Best wishes and feel free to contact me again.
Catherine
Hi Catherine~
Thank you so much for your prompt answer and your advice.
It seems as everything bothers my baby. He never seems happy and fusses and cries most of his awake time. I don't think that I mentioned that when I try to talk to him, even if he is not making direct eye contact, he still seems uncomfortable. Sometimes, he may smile, but then a second later, start to fuss or cry. If I show him toys, he gets upset alot, and if I bring him in front of a mirror, he starts to cry. What could be making him so upset?
I do have a swing and he does like it sometimes, so I let him swing in it, but I don't want to just let him swing away and have no interaction with me. Like you mentioned, I know interaction is very important. He also is quiet and sleeps in the car and in his stoller if we are out.
I find it very difficult to parent him the way is feels natural for me because I want to love him and care for him and it seems as if he is very uncomfortable with that.
He also has a strange behavior when he wakes from a night's sleep. He flares his arms and kicks out his legs, rubs his face and squirms around for awhile before waking up and when he does awake, most of the time, he starts to scream and can't stop. Does this sound typical for children with autism?
I want to make him as comfort as possible and I am not sure how to do that. I used to swaddle him for bed, but he spent more time trying to break out of the swaddle then he spent sleeping, so I recently stopped doing that.
Do babies with autism usually show such pronounced symptoms? I have read that there may be subtle behavioral issues in young babies, but this seems to the extreme with my son.
What kind of specialist would you recommend I ask to see? My son's pediatrician said I could bring him to a neurologist, but she said they will not do much for him at this point. I don't think I can just sit back and "wait and see"!
Thanks again,
Tracy
Answer Hi Tracy,
I'm glad you wrote back. The behavior you described of throwing the arms out and flailing sends up a red flag. There is a rare seizure disorder, infantile seizure, I think it's called. Your doctor might not recognize it even if it happened in front of him/her. But it can be tested for.
Ask for a referral to a neurologist immediately. If that's part of what is going on, they can help with it. It does not mean he might not also be autistic, but the seizure things does damage and there are ways to help.
Do write back and let me know what you find out. I care.
