Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 7/11/2005

Question
My son has been a "little angel" most of his life (he did go through a stage where he smashed all my eggs every time we left the fridge unlocked!). Since then he has always been content to play by himself or with his little brothers.

Now he has started school and he is having problems. His teacher said he is too easily distracted, has extremely bad fine and gross motor skills, can't socialise with the other kids, "cries at the drop of a hat", can't follow directions and won't complete tasks without direct supervision. She also mentioned he has very low self esteem. She sent him to the school counsellor.

The counsellor saw him and did an IQ test. The results showed that he was "extremely intelligent" on performance based tasks but "intellectually disabled" on language based ones. She told me in the interview later that I would need to take him to and occupational therapist and speech pathologist but that she had never seen results like that before. We are currently on waiting lists.

Fed up with waiting (and perhaps waiting a whole school year!) I took my son to the doctors and asked his opinion - he has refered us to a developmental paediatrician and hinted at it being a lifelong condition". The paediatrician can't see him for another 4 months.

I would like to know, is it possible to "overlook" autism (as our eldest we never had anyone else to compare him to until he hit school). Looking back now he has always been slow at picking up new skills, has always been very focused on certain subjects (particular computer games, movies, etc), he was a toe walker and head banger, ALWAYS naked (in fact I have a hard time keeping clothes on him now), he is toilet trained (at 4yo) but we still have to remind him to wipe and flush.... we just thought he took after his daddy! Does it sound like ASD? And if so what can I do to help him BEFORE we get a diagnosis???  

Answer
Yes, it is possible for a parent to overlook or not recognise a disorder like High Functioning Autism or Asperger's Syndrome or other spectrum disorder.

Our eldest daughter seemed fine, too.  Until her first sibling arrived.  Then she leveled out to be "fine" until school.  She was not accurately diagnosed until age 15.

You have listed several of the markers of a spectrum disorder: toe walking, head banging (though many children do this), extreme focus on certain things and total lack of interest in others.  Language problems are common.  Hating clothing, or certain types of clothing is, too.  Emotional instability and inability to relate to peers is very indicative of Autistic spectrum disorders.

For the moment, stay on those waiting lists, keep that appointment with the developmental pediatrician.

One of the most important things you can do is educate yourself.  Read everything you can get your hands on regarding the Autistic Spectrum.  Here are some links to web sites that offer good books and educational materials.

"Beyond the Wall" by Stephen Shore
"Autism is Not a Life Sentence" by Linley Summers
"Elijah's Song" by Valerie Paradiz

This web site offers info about autism and aspergers and has links to other sites with helpful information:

http://www.autismasperger.net/intro.htm

This is the government web site regarding the I.E.P. which is the Individualized Educational Plan your son will need once he gets his diagnosis.
http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html

Also, try to find other parents whose children have similar challenges.  They can provide much information and support.

Best wishes,
Catherine