Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 8/16/2005

Question
My husband and I have a 4-year-old daughter that is having some social behavioral issues at daycare. They're concerned that she might be autistic, ADD, ADHD, etc...  In the home she is able to function, communicates well, and we have NOT noticed any sustained issues that give us any thought she might be autistic/ADD/ADHD, etc...  In reading through the information I noticed that one item -- socialization -- is an issue with autistic children.  Outside of this daycare she's able greet people and we've noticed no problem interacting with others and/or playing games, etc.  Apparently at school she goes off by herself and doesn't want to participate with the group.  We've contacted a mental health professional to assess her, but in reading the information I wanted to ask someone who works with autism if there's anything we can observe/input that may give us direction on how to get through this difficult time.  Addtionally, we want to review all resources so we have all the facts before anyone stamps her with a disability.  Thanks  

Answer
Hi Karen,

I definitely understand your concern about having your daughter labeled with a diagnosis if it is not correct.  

It can be hard to tell if a child has mild autism or Asperger's Syndrome (AS) at home.  When the environment is predictable and the child is with the parents things can seem quite "normal."  High-functioning Autistic (HFA)and AS children learn to interpret the world by watching the reactions of their parent(s).

Having said that, just avoiding the other children may be a sign of social anxiety and not autism.  A child with social anxiety will not be comfortable in group situations where there is pressure to perform in "acceptable" ways.  She may feel her behavior is under scrutiny and avoid the judgement by staying to herself.

Our A.S. daughter was our first child and some of her behavior would have set off alarms for me if I had had other children before her.  As it was, she was our first and we took her at face value.  It was not until school that things began to surface which were clearly not the norm.

Ask yourself these questions:

Did she show very early speech development?
This can go with A.S.  Speech delay is common to H.F.A.

Does she prefer to play with toys in unusual ways such as lining them up over and over or spinning them rather than in the way they are intended to be played with?

Is she upset if things are moved in her room by someone other than herself?

Does she have any food issues such as refusing to eat certain textures or colors of food?

Does she want to wear only certain textures or colors of clothing?  Does a wrinkle in her sock send her into a tantrum?

Do sudden noises or bright lights set her off?

These are a few of the things you might see at home.

You have done the right thing to contact a specialist.  Early training and intervention can go a long way in turning this diagnosis into more of a "difference" and less of a "disability."

Best wishes,
Catherine