AboutCatherine Ridenour Expertise I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.
Experience I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.
We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.
Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.
Education/Credentials I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.
I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.
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Question My 8-year-old son is autistic. He's cognitive with his grade level and has great verbal skills. However, he has severe behavioral problems that we are having a hard time controlling despite meds and several different therapies, etc. Because of his behaviors, his time in school is inconsistent; there are many days I have to bring him home early if he gets too out of control.
I am doing fine financially right now without having to work. I have a job as a substitute aide at an elementary school, but can work very seldom due to my son's school schedule. In the summer, my income will be cut in half due to my oldest turning 18 and I will lose the child support I receive for her from my 1st husband (not the father of my autistic son). I will then need to be able to work, at least part-time. I currently receive SSI for my son but that will no way be enough to sustain us once I lose the child support.
How do single parents of autistic children support their families? I know that no daycare will be able to handle my son, esp. if the autism programs themselves can't handle him! And there is no way I can afford a special needs' daycare. Any ideas or suggestions on how a single parent with a special needs' child survives? I've only been a single mom for a year now so this is still pretty new to me. I would appreciate any knowledge you might have on this subject. Thank you!
Answer Hi Lisa,
This is a situation I have never had to face.
It is possible that, as your son gets a little older, his behavioral issues will improve but you cannot predict such things with any accuracy.
If you get child support from his father and it is insufficient, perhaps you can petition the court for additional support. You will need documentation of your son's needs from a professional of some kind. Talk to your lawyer. If his father is deceased, your son is entitled to Social Security in addition to his SSI until he is no longer in school or age 24.
I can tell from your writing you are well educated. This is definitely in your favor. Keep looking for a flexible work situation. One idea that springs to mind is housekeeping for other people. It is manual labor, but you can pick your hours and flex days when necessary. The start-up cost is minimal. All you need is a car, a good vacuum cleaner and a few supplies. In our area, good housekeepers can charge $15 to $20 per hour.
If that is not an avenue you can pursue, I think you should take a hard look at getting on public assistance. I know that sounds like the bottom of the barrel, but your first duty is to your son and he needs your full-time availability. This will give him basic health insurance and may offer you some, as well. It depends on the state you live in whether this is an option for more than two years, but it will give you and your son some more time.
Finally, I would be looking very hard at the school and how they handle your son. There must be some behavioral triggers that have not been addressed. Since it is just you and your son, you might even consider moving to another district if you cannot get service that truly accomodates his needs. It is the school's job to educate him for as many hours as the rest of the students. They are copping out on that by sending him home. If he requires a full-time, one-on-one aide, they are obligated to supply one.
I hope some of this is helpful. It's a hard situation.
