Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 1/29/2006

Question
Can you please give me a crash course on how to help a very high functioning teen (female) with autism?  Like your story, we have done much the same in that we have just discovered that our 16 year old daughter who is a junior has autism.  In elementary school, she did well as long as we coached her and her teachers.  Social skills were taught along the way at various social skill centers.  

Now that she is in high school, private school, she is struggeling, suffering from depression, failing grades, low self esteem because she cannot stay organized, understand lengthy or detailed directions and understand other "normal" high school stuff.  How do I rescue her at this age, what college accepts students with autism?

Her private school will make no exceptions to accomodate her and the local public school has quietly advised me to keep her in the private school because "she would be lost" in the public school system.

Help!What does a mom do at this stage of life?

Thanks,

Michelle

Answer
Sorry this has taken so long, for some reason I had trouble getting the web site to work for me.  Your answer is all typed up and saved.  Here goes:

Hi Michelle,

I feel for you. It sounds like you have provided a great deal of support throughout her school career.  At this stage, it gets more complicated than that.  She has more than to

I hate to say it, but she's already lost in the private school.  Sadly, you cannot force the private school to work with her on this.  I'm appalled that a school you are paying big bucks won't do what is best for your daughter.  At least in the public school, they would be required to accomodate her.  

Frankly, the public schools often don't want to have to spend the money to support students with learning disabilities.  I'm not saying that is their motive, but has been my experience.

You don't say where you live, but do a web search with your nearest large city and the word "autism" to find some support resources.  You may find some other families who know where to go for an appropriate education.

I have to be honest with you.  I don't believe anyone could have helped our daughter do much better in high school.  She was in a place of great emotional immaturity, denial about her diagnosis and confusion about how to interact with the other students.  She failed all her academic classes yet was an outstanding actress and musician.  Her success began after she "graduated" on a modified diploma meaning she had earned enough credits but not the required ones. She had to take two placement classes to be fully admitted to the University.

As to what colleges take autistic students...most of them, whether they know it or not.  The "geeks" and science buffs, the musicians and actors, even the historians, are often actually high-functioning autistics or have Asperger's Syndrome.  They do so well because they are working in the field of their obsession. For those who stay in academia, life is usually successful.

Those who major in a field that requires social skills in the workplace can find life disappointing after college.  It is not always so, but it happens.

Do find out what her passion in life is.  If it's art, let her immerse herself in it.  Whatever she loves and does well, point her in that direction.  Trying to mold an autistic child is doomed to failure.  

Here are a few websites that offer more information:

www.autismasperger.net
www.autism.org
www.autism-society.org

Please, be very wary of anyone offering a cure.  There are none though some autistics benefit from medication for ADHD and/or depression.  DO talk to a doctor about anti-depressants.  She needs all the help she can get to cope with the stress.

Best wishes,
Catherine