Expert: Trey McGowan - 3/14/2007

Question
What has helped you communicate with others?  What has your family done that has been the most helpful in finding peace?  

Answer
Hi, Michele!

First off, the most important thing to remember is understanding. I know, that seems sort of like a roundabout answer when the very question is 'How do we communicate', but it's really a big thing: understanding that communication can be a chore at times. Whether it's because of the person's way of speaking or because of an issue with verbalizing altogether (Speech disorders are fairly common in autistic individuals), try to remember that it's not that they don't want to communicate, but that they're having difficulty with it. Therefore, patience and understanding are key!

Taking this question in the most literal way, I would say that what has helped me to communicate is having someone who has been around me for a while and understands my idiosyncrasies in communication and can 'translate' as such. My significant other, my mother, good friends, or individuals online if I've been talking to friends and a new person joins the pool, so to speak. Having someone who can give translations is essential. No matter how silly it may look to others!  

Something else that might help is to try and use another method of communication. For example, my verbal communication is severely hampered and my handwriting is terrible. However, as you can see, I communicate at least fairly well in type. Therefore, I've been known to do what I can with IMs and email rather than directly telephoning, or even going so far as to type an answer out on a keyboard if I have one on-hand. Of course, you won't always have your chosen 'method' available, but if not, letting someone know that can sometimes help you work around it.

As for what my family has done that's helped me find peace, that's more of that 'understanding' thing, to be honest. The fact that my mother has held out her hand and helped me through hard points, even after I was married and moved away. The fact that my significant other is able to be a support for me. The fact that I've had friends around (friends are nothing but family unrelated by blood, after all!) to support me during a meltdown. Support is really a valuable thing to have, even if the support is only a pat on the back or an explanation of what I did that upset someone.

If I can help with anything else, feel free to ask!

Trey