Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 10/7/2006

Question
This may be a long email , I am sorry but there is alot of stuff to explain first. So far I have not yet been able to get an answer as to what it is with my daughter or if this will be an extreme condition or what , I am lost but here it is....

Madelyn started walking about 2-3 months after her first birthday.
started talking 1 month before her 1st birthday.
She used to count all the steps (1-15) at our condo when she was little
She knows her ABCs
She can sing ittsy bittsy spider, amazing grace, little tea pot, she plays ring around the rosey.
She goes potty by herself   (*with a few accidents hear and there)
She pretty much gets dressed by her self with a little help.
She puts her shoes on (flip flops and slip on shoes) ( I still tie her shoes)

when she is hungry she opens the fridge by herself and grabs a yogurt or cottage cheese and opens the lid and gets a spoon from the drawer.

When she takes a bath (which sometimes she will ask if she can take a bath) she will put on a one peice bathing suit (by herself now)

when she is done eating I will hand her a napkin and she will wipe her face off and her hands by her self, she washes her hands in the sink.

when is done eating a popcicle ro something like that I will ask her to throw it in the garbage and she will (* i dont point at the garbage, I just tell her and she understands)

I ask her to take her shirt off and get ready for bed and she does it) (I dont point at the shirt)

She was playing with her "Areial Doll" and I asked her what color Areials hair was and she said "red", she was right, ( and I didnt point at the doll)

She says sentences all the time like I gotta go potty, I want to watch cake, I wanna go by mommy, I wanna go outside, I want yogurt, I want mac and cheese, Stay broke her hand (which my cousin stacy did) I wanna go see alex, etc

She runs, jumps, plays, smiles, laughs, we play the tickle game and she laughs, she gives high fives, kisses, hugs, and can name everybody she knows when you ask her (sometimes you have to ask more than once) but she knows grandma, grandpa, mom, dad, Tiffany , Mandy , Peggy, Nora, Shelly, Jenny, Bridget, Teres, bob, etc(all aunts and uncles), she can also name alex, jason, danny, brad, maria, stacy, jocelyn, etc all of which are her cousins.

She can also name Cartoon and movie characters like, woody, buzz lightyear, sully, mike, areial, strawbwerry shortcake, orange blossom, huckleberry, pocahantias, lilo and stitch, angle cake, pup cake, custard, my little pony, mickey mouse, etc...

I did flash cards with her a few times and she knows orange, green, blue, red, yellow, black, brown, purple, cow, cat, dog, bug, fish, sun, etc....

She knows her body parts nose, ears, cheeks, chin, lips, teeth, elbow, hands, feet, etc.....   



The things that are of concern....

This all started when I took her to preschool and noticed that the other kids were a little more "in tune" or "ahead" of my daughter. The teacher asked everybodys name and all but madelyn and one other kid out of 20 kids didnt respond, and the were asked to color stars on paper and my daughter just smeared the color around the paper and the other kids seemed to color only the stars for the most part and she just didnt seem to "follow in line" with the other kids.

My wifes Aunt and 2 or 3 cousins of mine noticed that Madelyn seemed "off" sometimes. And a friend of mine told me that he has a nephew a few months younger than madelyn and he is able to have a somewhat "conversation" with him when an adult asks him something he will respond.

Now I can tell that Madelyn hardly responds to questions "general or specific" if I ask her over and over who her teacher is she will evenyually respond and get her name right of course but alot of the time she wont answer questions.

The other concern is she flaps her hands and arms sometimes in a repeatative motion (not all the time consistantly) but hear and there and she seems to do it when she is wound up. She will also repeat things (not always something I say) but something like "Stacy broke her hand" (which my cousin did and I am sure that is what she is talking about) but she will say it 4 or 5 times in a row and out of the blue.

She does some other wierd things that may just be kids being kids.

but all in all my main concern is that she doesnt respond or answer questions.

This is her first time in preschool or day care, Both daycare teachers noticed some of these things about Madelyn. I was told by a teacher at her current school that the teacher had a child a little like madelyn and that girl was diagnosed with Autism. '

The last thing is I have a cousin that is 27 years old and she has the mind of a 6 year old which you can tell right away when you talk to her. My family doesnt talk about it alot but she is healthy and does alot but she would never be able to nurse a baby, drive a car, live on her own, cook, and really function like a normal adult. Now some people in my family say that the cause of this was drug use by my aunt and uncle (which they do use) it was also said that the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck at birth, and it was also said that my Aunt for sometime felt guilty of dropping my cousin on her head when she was born....I dont know what any of that means but it is a concern of mine....   

What does this all mean, she scored low on the Board of Ed test and they know she is developmentally delayed but what does it mean and is she going to live life mildly retarded or could this be help a great deal so she can go to a normal school eventually or what, or what videos, programs, diets or anything could help if this is what it is....please help....lost dad.....Erik

Answer
Hi Erik,

I suspect your daughter has high-functioning autism or Asperger's Syndrome. Both of these autistic spectrum disorders affect social functioning and sometimes include developmental delays like not being able (or maybe not being willing) to color in the lines.

They are not the same as mental retardation! Children with profound forms of autism can be retarded or may be quite bright but very "trapped" in their strange form of communication and function.

Your daughter is not destined to a life like your cousin. Much is now known that can help kids on the high end of the spectrum learn to cope and develop toward more normal function.

I am not saying she will be like everyone else, but she can do well in school, learn to make friends and live on her own, make a living, even raise a family.

Get a good professional diagnosis. Warning, ask around and find some parents who have found compassionate and qualified doctors. Don't believe in "cures" or that there is one right way to teach your daughter. (You did not cause it by having her vaccinated, either). She does not need medication unless she also has attention deficit disorder which can exist with autism but it is not a guarenteed part of the syndrome.

Really, she sounds like she has many strong abilities that can be built upon. Her ability to do self care is a tremendous plus! You're way ahead of most parents with a child on spectrum.

Do an Internet search at someplace like Google and input the name of your state and "autism". You will find local resources and organizations to guide you.

Also, if your daughter has problems with constipation or other intestinal problems, you might consider a gluten free (wheat free) diet. This can be helpful for many kids with autism but not for all.

Best wishes,
Catherine