Expert: Catherine Ridenour - 7/20/2006

Question
Hi there.
My son is almost 13 years old now.  As a bay and toddler he was vey quick to learn and spoke fluently and was very articulate.  He had a great concentration span, at 20 months old could tell you all the primary colours and black, white and grey.  My health visitor came to visit me as I had had his baby brother.  She had a conversation with my son and asked if his name was down for nursery school.  When I told her he was only 20 months old, she couldn't believe it as she thought she was talking to a 3 year old.

Anyway, as he got older 3 to 4 he was sometimes quite bad to his baby brother, quite common I'm sure, but he would hit him for no reason, and didn't seem to understand he had hurt him.  He used to ignore me when I spoke to him and just stare at me in what I thought was a challenging way, but I gradually over the years began to think he didn't seem to know what I was saying, it was as if the words were all jumbled up and he couldn't make sense of him.  I tried to get help through doctors and health visitors but I think they thought I was paranoid about him.  I have just always felt he is a clever boy, but seems to get very confused.  He used to lose track of time, i.e. is is morning ornight when he had come home from school or not long got up in the moening.

One teacher had thought at first he was a challenging boy, which he is not, has never been in trouble, never been rude to an adult.  She thought at first when she would ask him a question that he was ignoring her, then she realised he didn't seem to understand what she was saying.  At last someone had seen what I had been talking about.

Sometimes when he was young 5 or 6, he would cry and not be able to tell me what was wrong.  This could go on for hours, and also if he ever hurt himself he would never let me comfort him and always said it was my fault for everything that happened to him.  He dislikes change and can't deal with that.  He becomes attached to things like clothing and shoes and when I buy new ones he gets upset about it.

The list goes on.  Also I remember when he was younger he had an irrational fear of fire.  HE was frighted of the soud of when I ran a bath with thepressure on ful he hated the noise.

He is going fine at high school and seems to enjoy this better then primary.  He does not really have any friends and doesn't still really know how to share with the friends he sometimes has.

Hope you can advise please

Thanks

Answer
Hi Arlene,

It sounds like your son has a form of autism called Asperger's syndrome. It affects social functioning. Most of these children talk very early and well.

The reason your son was cruel to his younger brother is that people with autism lack what is called "theory of mind." They do not realize that other people have thoughts and feelings. They can't predict the outcome of their own actions or the actions of others because they do not have any clue why people do the things they do.

It is too bad that the professionals you sought help through did not know about Asperger's. Early teaching can help A.S. kids learn better social skills and coping strategies. However, only in the past 5 years or so has the medical and educational community come to realize what a devastating condition this can be.

At this point, your best path is to educate yourself about A.S. by reading and doing Internet research. You may be able to convince his school to test him for it and offer some accomodations.

Here is a list of links to web pages with information on autism and Asperger's syndrome.  Also, go to Amazon.com and type "asperger's" and "adolescense" into the search box. You will find many books by people who have the condition themselves.

http://www.patientcenters.com/autism/news/resources.html (books and resources)

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/asperger/asperger.htm (the definitions and government links)

http://www.autism.org/temple/meds.html (about medication)

http://www.autism.org/ (many links to information)

http://www.autismasperger.net/intro.htm (Stephen Shore’s web site)

http://www.angelfire.com/pa5/as/asteachersites.html (teaching resources)

http://www.aspergers.com/Adolesc.htm (adolescence issues)

http://www.mentalhealth.com/ (a site where you can enter symptoms and get a possible diagnosis)

Best wishes,
Catherine