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Autism/neighborhood abuse of autistic daughter

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Expert: - 10/27/2006


Question
We just moved to a new neighborhood from out of state and the neighbors son and his friend were pushing, hitting and teasing our daughter, who is 12. These children are 10. The boys Mom wouldn't address the situation whan I asked what had happened, our daughter didn't leave the situation and our younger son saw it happen but was afraid to confront the older boys. Do you have any suggestions as to how to manage this?  

Answer
Hi Nicolle,

Make a "getting to know you" invitation to the Mom for coffee or something. Explain your daughter's differences. In particular, use the illustration that a deaf child would not understand verbal teasing and autistic children are "socially deaf" and do not understand teasing or how to deal with it for the same reason. They "don't speak the language." Point out that you would not allow your child to bully hers and politely request that she explain the cruelty of teasing to her sons.

If she refuses or acts uncooperative, thank her for listening and keep a close eye on things. If anything like this happens again and the mother will not intervene, call the police. This is assault and unacceptable under any circumstances.

Also, get the school to address the differing needs of individuals and try to get them to institute a conflict resolution education program.

Best wishes,
Catherine

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Catherine Ridenour

Expertise

I can answer your questions about parenting your High Functioning Autisic or Asperger`s Syndrome child. In particular, questions about family life, discipline, siblings, finding resources, and working with (sometimes opposing) the educational system are welcome.

Experience

I am the parent of an Asperger's Syndrome child who is now 22 years old. She went undiagnosed for 14 years of her life, so I have done extensive reading and Internet research into the possible cause of her difficulties. Even a short 8 years ago, A.S. was practically unheard of by the public educational system.

We fumbled our way through her childhood and early adolescence without any effective outside support. In some ways, that may have been a blessing as we were focused on her abilities rather than a label for her disability. However, I can think of many times when knowing WHY would have been comforting.

Had we known very early on, some social skills interventions might have made her life in school easier. At this point, I like her for who she is so I do not regret how things have turned out. More importantly, she likes herself.

Education/Credentials
I have a Bachelor of Science in Education.

I have worked to educate myself about Autism in general and HFA/AS in particular.

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