Expert: Dr. Sharon A. Mitchell - 3/21/2007

Question
Hi Sharon,
My son is a few months shy of 4 years old and he is having a hard time with the use of pronouns.  He refers to himself as YOU.  For example he will tell me MOMMY YOU WANT TO SEE TOM AND JERRY or YOU WANT CHOCOLATE MILK.  Is there anything I can do to help him understand pronouns better?  Also, when he is done in the bathroom he will say MOMMY ARE YOU ALL DONE? I think he gets that from Preschool when they ask him.

Answer
Is English his first language?

Does your child have autism? Within the autism spectrum disorders, kids may have some difficulty with pronoun use, self-recognition and imaginative play. Understanding of pronoun use can be enhanced through modelling, pretend play and through interactions with others, all activities which may not come easily to children with autism.(For example, here is some information: http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8624.2004.00819.x?cookie...).

Whether or not your son has autism though,it certainly does not hurt to seek a professional opinion. Then you will know if your son is in a typical stage of language development for a three year old or if some type of intervention may be helpful.

While many young children go through a period in which they confuse some pronouns, most start figuring out our grammar and syntax rules on their own. We may inadvertently contribute to this confusion by the way we talk to toddlers; we often speak of ourselves in the third person ("Mommy is so proud of you" rather than saying "I'm so proud of you").

Below are a few websites that can help you sort out what is within the normal speech/language parameters for a child your son's age. Armed with this information, you can then speak to a public health nurse, pediatrician or speech/language specialist.

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/child_hear_talk.htm

http://www.comeunity.com/disability/speech/milestones.html

http://www.ldonline.org/article/6313

Even without professional guidance, there is a lot parents can do to help their child's developing language skills. You'll find some suggestions here:  

http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/Parent-Stim-Activities.htm

http://www.hsdc.org/News/Speech/encourage.htm

If you're concerned, I think you should speak to a Speech/Language Pathologist (SLP) to get the best advice.If you live in the United States, you can find a local Speech/Language Pathologist through this site:

http://www.asha.org/proserv/

In Canada, try here: http://www.caslpa.ca/english/profession/find.asp

For other countries and general information on finding SLP help, check out this site:  http://members.tripod.com/Caroline_Bowen/find-slp.htm

Sharon A. Mitchell
www.autismsite.ca