Expert: Dr. Sharon A. Mitchell - 2/10/2007

Question
Hello.  I have a six year old son in kindergarten, and we just went through the school evaluation process for special ed due to some social/behavioral issues (occasional meltdowns/not interacting with the other children spontaneously/etc.)  They feel he has Asperger's syndrome, and after doing a lot of reading on PDDs I also think he lies somewhere 'on the spectrum.'  At the eligibility meeting, however, they said he doesn't need any services because he scored so high academically.  I was sort of shocked that they could say he doesn't need help after they noted his social issues, anxiety (much worse since starting school), poor language pragmatics, etc.  Do you have any suggestions for how I can approach the school in a way to get help for my son over their objection that he is not being affected 'academically?'  (All that they did was offer a few 'suggestions' to his classroom teacher.)  I can just see these issues getting much worse if he doesn't get help now.

Two more quick questions:  My son is very bright, but he doesn't seem to have the desire to become an 'expert' on certain subjects that leads a lot of kids with Aspergers to be dubbed 'little professors.'  (restricted/obsessive interests)  Is that unusual?

He also has never shown any need for routine or sameness at home (and we have even moved several times), yet at school they say he has a very hard time with transitioning and changes in routine.  Have you come across this before?


Thank you so very much.  I hope I haven't thrown too many questions at you.  I appreciate your insights.

S.P.


Answer
Hi, Shannon.

You may well be right that your son is somewhere "on the spectrum". There are many kids who show some of the characteristics of autism but don't have a diagnosis. Some children are diagnosed with PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified) when they show many of the characteristics but not clearly enough to warrant the labels of Asperger's or Autistic Disorder.

Since your son has not shown a "special interest" he may be one of those children who show some symptoms but not enough for firm diagnosis. That's OK. You don't necessarily need an exact diagnosis. The most important thing is to find out what sorts of strategies make life more comfortable for your son and make it easier for him to succeed.

It's interesting that he's managed to handle transitions and changes within your household. That's likely a testament to you and your family. Perhaps unconsciously, you smooth the way be explaining and preparing him ahead of time for these changes. If you have a warm and otherwise stable home, that will also help. Your son may trust you and take his cue from you - if you're not flapped by the change, he may take comfort in that and follow your lead.  

At home, he's sure of his environment, his place in it and the people around him. Kindergarten can be a difficult transition for many kids, let alone one who may be "on the spectrum". While most kindergarten children will have internalized the classroom routines by now and be able to anticipate what the teacher expects, a child with autistic tendencies will have far more trouble with predicting patterns and figuring out what will happen next. He's new to the teacher, new to his surroundings and to the kids around him. At home, much of his time is unstructured and he can do as he pleases. During most of the school, his every move is scheduled and directed. This can be a hard transition. If your son is a child who needs much down time, constantly rubbing shoulders with other can be wearying. Someone is always pushing and pulling him to do something, whether or not it's something he wants to do or even if he's not finished what interest him.

To top it off, just when he may have figured out the routine and what's expected of him, the teacher throws in someone out of the ordinary and his anticipated schedule is thrown off. All these factors can contribute to frustration and anxiety which may result in melt downs or other undesirable behavior.

It's encouraging that your son is bright. It seems that you and his school share that same opinion. That can only make life easier for all concerned.

You mention that your son is not interacting with other children. Is this something new, evident only since he began kindergarten or had you observed this when he was still a preschooler. This is not always easy for parents to judge if you have not frequently observed your son with other children.

I commend you the for reading you've done so far and for being open to the possibility that your child is having some difficulty. Some parents are very resistant to even considering this possibility.

The fact that your school has noted our son's difficulties, yet felt he does not require services can be taken as a good sign. For some kids, the anxiety and behavior would be negatively impacting his school work; this is obviously not the case with your boy.

There are some parents who fight to keep their children out of special ed services, rightly or wrongly. The want their child totally mainstreamed and are willing to do without the extra services he could have if he was pulled out of the classroom, even if just for periods at a time.

If I knew more about the 'suggestions' offered to his classroom teacher, I might be able to talk more about these issues. Without knowing the extent/type of suggestion, I can only guess.

It may comfort you to know that many of these sorts of suggestions, if followed through can make a tremendous difference to how a child copes in the classroom. Ultimately, you want your child to function within mainstream society as an independent, contribution, well-adjusted adult. The best path to that goal may be through regular classroom situations.

If you work closely with your son's teacher and with those who attended the eligibility meeting, you may be able to do a lot to help your son. I don't mean that you should spend hours each night being his "teacher". Not at all - you're his mom, not his teacher. But by working jointly, you can learn more about the things in school that cause your son difficulty and coach him. You needed "work" with your boy in a formal way but incorporate it into the natural time you spend together.

Even without weekly sessions with a Speech/Language therapist, you can help your son with his pragmatic skills.  A couple books I'd recommend are:

Navigating the Social World by Dr. Jeanette McAfee (herself the mother of a child with Asperger's) (http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/002-5976324-7035255?url=search-alias%3Dstrip...)

Asperger Syndrome - What Does it Mean to Me (http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-What-Does-Mean-Me/dp/1885477597/sr=1-1/qid=11710...)

These are both binder-type books in which you can pick and choose the parts that are pertinent to your son and work through those pages with him. Given his age, keep your sessions to no more than five or ten minutes at a time, but incorporate what you've worked on in your play with him and throughout your home life. You'll find that many situations crop up where you can utilize the phrases or action you've worked on.

Both these books have the word "Asperger" in their titles. Don't let that worry you. Whether or not your son officially has an autism spectrum disorder, the strategies in these books are still useful for many children.

To help you understand what may be behind the unwanted behaviors your boy may periodically display, the following is a slim but useful book: Asperger's Syndrome and Difficult Moments by Brenda Smith Myles (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0008HXL4W?tag=autismhelpf0e-20&camp=14573&creative=327...)

At the following link, you'll find activities grouped by age ranges that may help you in guiding your son's language and pragmatic development: http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/Parent-Stim-Activities.htm

Regarding behaviors, I could likely be of more assistance if I knew more about the circumstances surrounding the occasional meltdowns your son had.

If you check out my website (www.autismsite.ca), you'll find many suggestions on strategies that you can do to help your son. You might want to especially look at the sections that pertain to sensory sensitivities and things that may help.

Please consider that the school and you may not be on opposite or even opposing pages regarding your little boy. There is never just one way to help a child with autistic tendencies. Keep talking with your school and if possible spend some time in the building and in the kindergarten room to get a better understanding of the expectations and your son's reactions.

Sharon A. Mitchell
http://www.autismsite.ca