Expert: Trey McGowan - 11/27/2007

Question
how does a 25 year old male with autism deal with sexual urges?

Answer
Hello, P!

First off, let me assure you that this answer (and the link included) are both completely PG-13. They should be work-safe.

While I usually hate leaning on a 'It depends', there are really two main 'depends on' parts to this question: it depends on the level of autism, and it depends on the sexual urges.

Obviously, no matter what level of autism an individual is diagnosed with, there are going to be urges. The body doesn't turn off its hormones just because a person's social skills are awkward, after all. But in some cases, they may end up being stronger or weaker, depending on if they are simple 'urges', or if something (or someone!) in specific is causing them.

Generally, the best answer to sexual urges is to use masturbation. I understand that in religion, this gets a lot of bad press, but there is nothing harmful about doing it. Plus, if one is having sexual urges while they are extremely touch-rejecting, this can be a good way to work the frustration off. There are plenty of links out there for this, for those want personal help with it (no, I'm serious!).

For finding sexual partners, the 'song and dance' of courtship is usually extremely difficult for them. Social cues are very hard to work with. Because of that, finding a partner can also be very difficult. In situations like this, finding a person they feel comfortable about telling about their disability is the best thing they can do. No, not about the sex. About the autism. While jumping right in and asking a woman 'Will you have sex with me?' is an option for some folks, nine times out of ten it will get you slapped or worse. Plus, there are those people who will take advantage.

http://www.asperger-marriage.info/survguide/chapter21.html
There is an entire chapter dedicated to sexuality. It is written in simple, bullet-form that is easy for even more severely autistic people to digest. It's excellent for even the most neurotypical, to be honest; it's a very good 'How-to' on the etiquette and tactics of dating, sex, and the like.

Hopefully that helped answer your question! If there is anything more specific that you would like to ask, don't hesitate to drop a follow-up in.

Trey