Expert: Trey McGowan - 12/9/2007

Question
My beautiful son is 25 months and is not talking. He will occasionally throw a word here and there, but that it. He says "DA DA?" all the time, pointing to is as if to ask..."what that?" Then will say "DA DA" emphatically when you give him something he pointed to or wanted as if to say "Thank you". He will say "DA DA?" and point to Elmo..someone who is like a family member (haha)...where I must have told him at least 1000 times "that is elmo"...I don't know if he just likes me telling him it's elmo or he forgot..or something is wrong

He is very affectionate, loves to hug and kiss. Eye contact is great, loves other kids (actually hugs them...a little too much sometimes for the other kids taste).
I can say to him in my living room..."hey buddy go throw this out for me"...and he will take it and walk into the kitchen, open the garbage, throw it out and shut the lid.
We have a basketball hoop and I will start saying DUNK IT....DUNK IT....he will get all exciting (just smiling) and go grab the ball and dunk it...

However, he will occasionally ignore me and rubs his head gently when you lay him down to sleep.(soothing him)
Obviously, with all the talk on autism, plastic bottles with this chemical and vaccines, I am worried.
He is having an early speech intervention this week.
Curious to see what you think.
Thank you

Answer
Hello there, Craig!

I think that in reading over this, your son seems delayed with his speech, yes. However, with everything else that you're saying, it sounds to me as if the issue isn't autism. Now (and here comes the usual spiel) I'm not a doctor. However, autism is more than just a speech impediment. A lot of the other symptoms that are involved are part and parcel of it, particularly with the issues with social development. From what I'm reading here, your son's social development seems extremely good.

It seems as if your son's comprehension is quite good (as I'm sure you've noticed!), so I would suspect if there is a difficulty, it's purely in his verbal communication. This isn't unusual; several people have problems with the 'speaking' portion of 'speaking and understanding' at all ages. Getting the intervention will be the best thing in the world for him to be able to start with some communication skills, whether that be normal (if you'll pardon the term) speech or something different. If nothing else, it should help find out the 'why' and be able to work on treating it.

In a world where there are scares everywhere, being delayed in some things isn't a big death knoll. Even if you speak with the doctors and a developmental disorder of some sort is proclaimed, it's not something to be afraid of. More likely, rather than the terror of vaccines and plastics and et cetera, it is simply your son's general makeup. Sometimes people end up developing at different rates, and sometimes it has nothing to do with anything except the roll of the dice. So I think the best thing you can do is try not to worry so much about the 'why', and instead focus on the 'what' and work with your young man's speech with that intervention.

As for the head-rubbing, it may well be part and parcel of the speech problem, yes. However, even the most normal children find ways to calm themselves. If you pet his head to settle him down when he was a baby, he may be continuing it to this day because he likes how it feels and relaxes him. And as for ignoring... well... I'm afraid that's all a part of the normal development of children: the days when they decide not to listen to Mom and Dad.

Hopefully I was able to help with this! If there's anything else you'd like to ask, add, or just plain say, don't hesitate; I'll be here!

Trey