Autism/stemming or droning

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Expert: - 9/30/2007


Question
i have heard it refered to stemming or droning, its a whine. the 6yr old i nanny for who is nonverbal autistic does it nearly constantly, sometimes i can ignore it but it can drive me crazy. i dont think he realises he is doing it or what i am talking about when i ask him to stop. at home its not as big of a deal but when we are in the community it can be disruptive. please any ideas are welcome.

Answer
Hi Allison

I'm really sorry for being so blunt. I'm autistic myself, so diplomacy is not one of my strengths. I was not trying to be rude on purpose. I'm aware now I have hurt your feelings by being so direct, but I don't know how to say things in any other way. I never want to be mean or insulting but what I say may sometimes come across that way.

I hope you'll understand this.
I also had no idea you have been working with him for two years already. You didn't say that in your letter. I thought you were just starting to work with this child.

C.

Hi Allison,

I suppose you're talking about stimming, not stemming.

To be honest, you shouldn't try to make him stop.
There is not much you could do anyway (probably keep him away from situations that are stressful for him, and working  together with an OT to find out if there is some type of sensory input he may crave you could provide).
Think about stimming as an activity that calms him down, may give him the sensory input which he may crave etc. He needs to do that. He may do it more in public because being out is alot of stress for him. Trying to stop him from doing it would do more harm than good, and it would be a very cruel thing to do.
How would you feel if you were very cold, and had nothing warm to wear, and someone would not allow you to rub your hands and arms and stomp your feet to get a little warmth into your body ? I bet you'd feel horrible and would not understand why you shouldn't do so.

Please don't be offended and I'm sorry I have to tell you this, but if you cannot cope with his autistic behaviours, you should seriously consider looking for another child to nanny for (one that is not autistic).

C.

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*DISCLAIMER*

Please note I am not a healthcare professional or a doctor.
I cannot provide a diagnosis or give any medical advice.
Therefore I cannot answer questions like "is my child autistic ?" other than by telling you to go and see a specialist
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Please be aware that if you are in the US it will usually take at least 24 hours until I can answer your question, as I'm in Europe and don't have access to my email during the day. I also cannot answer questions concerning the US educational or law system (other than by looking up things on google, but that's probably not the expertise you need), as I'm not in the US.
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Please also be aware that I'm a person with autism. My answers may sometimes be very blunt and direct and I may tell you things you won't like to hear. Diplomacy is certainly not among my talents. I'm never being rude on purpose, and I always try not to hurt or offend people, but it has happened before and may happen again. It's NEVER on purpose. I just want to help.
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What I *can* do for you is gather information on any aspect of autism and therapy of autism you're interested in and give you my personal oppinion about it (if you want to hear it) or, if it applies, tell you about my personal experience. I can answer all questions about what life is like for an autistic person.

I can also answer questions asked in German or French (but will have to answer in English to questions asked in French as my French is a bit rusty).

Ich beantworte gerne auch Fragen auf Deutsch.

Vous pouvez poser des questions en Francais, si cela ne vous dérange pas que je responds en anglais.

Experience


As I'm not doing well right now and am not in the shape of answering questions well - I recieved a few low ratings lately - I'll take a break from AllExperts for the next few weeks/until I'm doing better

I am an adult diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome/High Functioning Autism and ADD.

In the past years I have also read a lot about autism and its comorbid conditions and related subjects (as I am experiencing symptoms of most of these or know others who do) , so I have accumulated a lot of layman knowledge in this area (AD(H)D, Tourette's Syndrome, OCD, sleep disorders, allergies, sensory integration dysfunction, learning difficulties, left/right-brain, giftedness, Irlen Syndrome, prism glasses, executive dysfunction (aka. "inertia"), "special" diets).

Education/Credentials
None in the field of autism, apart from being autistic myself !

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