Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/Forgive


I want to learn how to forgive, heal,
understand and grow from what's hurting deep down inside

Thank you so much for asking the question and wanting to take the steps for forgiveness and healing.  I will be answering this question based on the metaphysical and psychotherapy principles of A Course in Miracles; and you are welcome to write back for anything you need me to clarify.

A Course in Miracles, or ACIM as it is also called, says that all healing takes place in the mind.  The metaphysics behind this is something to know because it helps you to understand why some things are the way they are and opens the door to change of mind.  The simplified explanation goes something like this:  

The non-conscious mind is Knowledge, Heaven and Oneness.  There is nothing to be conscious of as everything “is” in a state of “being.”  To experience and see the joy of this “beingness” is the super unconscious mind, or God and Christ.  

Now enters the “tiny mad idea” where the dream and illusion of separation began.  This was merely a thought that if you see God, you must be separate and this “split” the mind.  That simple thought, now believed, is the ego.  Nothing more than a thought in the mind, it’s a judgment that something was true that actually is not true.  This is where we all forgot to dismiss what wasn’t true about ourselves and a portion of the mind banished itself from Knowledge.

Next is sin, an ego thought which says we did separate and that’s a sin against God.  Feeling guilty for that sin, the ego says you have to be afraid because that sin is punishable by death from the angry and vengeful God.  We’re just at the unconscious mind and already fearful from the ego’s judgments!

The attributes of judgment are sin, guilt and fear with fear being the first to be faced on the inward journey into the mind.  Every time you judge, you reinforce fear in your mind and don’t see how to get back as truth remains hidden in fear itself.

With that said, let me now address forgiveness from ACIM.  Forgiveness is correction of the mind because only the mind needs healing.  At the time of the separation, God placed the solution called the Holy Spirit and forgiveness.  From ACIM’s view, the Course is aimed at your decision making capability to change your mind (forgiveness) and the process is not hard but has some basic components which I will address below and will require you doing the internal work.    

The ego is a judgmental thought system of one or the other, a killed or be killed, vengeful and vindictive and it loves to hurt you and others.  My point is to tell you how nasty it is; but that it is only thoughts and thoughts can be changed.  It is not real even though when you are hurting, it seems quite real.

This is in contrast to the other portion of the split mind which is the Holy Spirit Right Mind (forgiveness=correction of the mind).  ACIM says that according to the mind you choose as cause (think/judge with), you will see the corresponding effect.  Choosing to relinquish judgments of the ego to this side is choosing to end the illusion of separation and leads to peace, love, joy, happiness, and yes, healing. All you are being asked to do is turn over the ego judgments in your mind to this side for correction (forgiveness).

Choosing against the ego with the decision making capability is the same as when you choose judgment of the ego.  If you can judge with the ego, you can judge (choose) against the ego.  Here’s the mindset and actions to consider for employing the decision making capability:

1. You will need to have the willingness to learn a different way.  Willingness is also the ego as “willing to learn” is not necessary in Heaven (nothing to learn).  The ego is responding to the Holy Spirit’s reminder you can choose differently.

2. Willingness can be employed against the ego in emotional situations by the idea that the pain of change seems better than the pain of staying the same.  Pain is fear and fear is judgment and none of it is real.  Sometimes we need the pain and fear to reach the point of enough is enough!

3. The ego uses something like, “being sick and tired of feeling this way,” or “hates things being like this or that in your life,” and even “you’ve just plain had enough!”  Whatever it says, these thoughts and their associated feelings are what you take and use against the ego along with willingness and enough of the pain and fear.     

4. Because you no longer want this or that, or to feel a certain way, you are willing to do something about it.  This “willingness to do” engages the decision making capability because now you are willing to take action.  Yes, fear of change will come up but if you let the fear get the best of you, you’ll simply return to to more pain and fear until you get back to “willingness to do” and have the resolve to see it through.  It’s okay.  You’ll eventually make it.  It’s just a ride at Disneyland and not real; but you have to ride the roller coaster to find that out.  

5. Ask the Holy Spirit for an image to put these things in you no longer want.   It’s the image most usable to you by God who knows you better than you know yourself right now.  How?  This is a quiet voice waiting for you to recognize it and listen.  Just sit quietly away from distractions, ask for it and listen.  Something will appear in your mind.

6. Consider this:  When you don’t want something from someone, what do you do?  Truth be told you are more than willing to give it back to them or throw it away. You don’t want it anymore, right?  How does that feel?  Even though it is from the ego, use it to get the job done.  Make that a catalyst to giving the thoughts, feelings and situations, etc., to Holy Spirit.  That image will take anything and everything, no questions asked.  If it helps you get started, you can say to the image, “Here, you take this.  I’m done and I don’t want it anymore.”  You don’t have to care what happens to it.  The Holy Spirit takes care of it. That’s its job.  Delegate it to your “boss”!  Pick whatever idea works for you.

7. It is no more difficult than that to give things over to the Holy Spirit Right Mind.  It’s the one place where you exchange those ego judgments for correction of the mind (forgiveness) by simply being willing to and doing the work of handing them over.    

8. That’s all you have to do!  That is using your decision maker!  Because you are just “done” with the pain and feeling and thinking that way, you just need a place to give it to because the burden is now too much.

9. When you get the basic idea behind handing over the ego’s judgments, you see how simple it really is by choice of not wanting them anymore.  You can use it on ALL ego judgments and set yourself down the path to freedom.

This uses the basic principles in A Course in Miracles because it employs:

A. Willingness to learn;

B. Not engaging the ego - not judging or conversing back with it;

C. Making the choice for things to change (decision maker);

D. Taking action using the decision maker which is handing it over to the Holy Spirit Right Mind for correction (forgiveness);  

E.  You chose the Holy Spirit Right Mind this time.  A different cause produces a different effect.

Keep doing it until the emotional charge is done and you’ll feel better.  

Keep doing it when the next set of “thoughts or ideas” come up and you’re reaching the foundation of choices (judgments) that led to that mindset.  

Keep doing it past that and you release sin, guilt and fear.

Don’t budge from your position of turning absolutely everything over and you receive correction (forgiveness).

You cannot accidentally turn over the “love” thoughts because if you do, love is shared and you only increase it in you.

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Delilah Jaemes


I answer all questions regarding A Course in Miracles - ACIM which is taught on two levels - the metaphysics (theory) and practical application in our daily lives where we come to understand the meaning of the text. There's no way around you having to do the hard work even if you ask for clarification about the Course or how to apply the principles to your daily life or a situation. Please note: I do not answer for those in personal crisis and in need of counseling as the kindest thing can be for you to receive help on that level and then come back to the Course when you are able. This is not a race or competition to get it first. We're all in this together for we are a part of each other so please be kind and gentle to yourself and others.


I have a website: http://spiritualguidancecoach.com and there I have posted numerous articles authored by me (which are available on EzineArticles.com as well). My website also contains Youtube videos and a Quote of the Week that is changed every Sunday. You are welcome to contact me through the website as well as here and I will email a response. Please check the blog for past questions and answers, videos, articles, etc. Further information about my experience is available on my website; however, as always, experience of studying the text (theory) and putting what it says into practice is how we gain that 'experience' over lots of time - yet we all remain both students and teachers until the end of our journey.

I don't belong to organizations. In my experience, most of the groups and organizations for A Course in Miracles are not practicing the Course. They are practicing the ego - specialness and differences - and they are turning the Course into a religion (without realizing they are doing so) and therefore distorting it's true meaning. The Course is individual practice and groups are merely for socializing and practicing forgiveness. I personally refer to the Foundation for A Course in Miracles (FACIM) and the Foundation for Inner Peace; but I don't view them as an organizations but rather as a place for clarification since they stay true to the Course.

http://spiritualguidancecoach.com Ezinearticles.com Youtube - Delilah Jaemes

I have studied about the ego most of my life and been a student and practitioner of A Course in Miracles since the early 1990's. The Course is something that takes a lifetime to practice and learn, so remember that everyone is a teacher and student at the same time. Only when we actually put the Course into practice and study the text do we come to understand what it means. I will answer to the best of my ability and learning; and I will do my best to get out the way and let the Holy Spirit answer you in the way most helpful to you. It is actually His job to be your teacher (instead of the ego) if you will allow Him; and so the only way for me to be helpful is to let Him be in charge.

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