Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/How to control my Ego?


Hi Raja,

Thank you for your previous responses...

I'm having trouble controlling my ego.  I know it is my mind that is causing my suffering and I try to quiet it by meditating which does help.. but only for a time.  As soon as I feel I have accepted and shrugged off the emotion.. my mind tries to reopen the wound..and the cycle repeats itself. Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you


Dear Sonal,

You are attempting an impossible task. Try to reflect on this question: 'Who is the one who wants to control the ego?'. You will realize that it is your Ego who wants to control! So it is not possible. It is like asking a corrupt minister to conduct inquiry on the bribe charges on himself!

So my suggestion is stop meditating. Stop your attempt to quieten your mind. The nature of mind is to oscillate. If it is not oscillating it is not mind. You wrongly assume that the oscillation of the mind is suffering. It is difficult to remove this wrong assumption. (You need to get enlightened to remove this wrong assumption) But it is impossible to stop the oscillation.

Therefore, I suggest this: Write down in a paper positive and negative oscillation of the mind separately. Every time the mind says 'what if....' note it down. Once you exhaust all the blabbering of the mind, then your intelligence should take over. If mind says something then your intelligence should say 'yes, you have told me that before. So what?'

Let the mind reopen the wound fully until there is nothing more to talk about it...then it will heal by itself.

Thanks for asking this question. If you need clarifications do ask a new question.

Best wishes,
Raja Subramaniyan  

Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment

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Raja Subramaniyan


I can answer all questions relating to Enlightenment aka Awakening, Nirvana or the ultimate goal of a human being.


Students belonging to many different religious faith have studied under my guidance and attained enlightenment.

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