Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/Celibacy


Can you help me understand the best way to renounce the world without compromising on happiness.
I plan to become celibate for life. I also wish to enjoy all resources of the world, luxury and lifestyle.
But the only thing i will remove is my sexual activeness. I will indulge in self pleasure, but will not get physically intimate with anyone.
The reason for my decision is that I have been in love with someone who has treated me like crap and thankfully I am a virgin. But it is difficult to let go of someone. Plus, I have also realised that what all men want is sex and that is one things that matters the least to me.
So its best if i keep myself away from them.
Please help me.

Dear Aby:

Thank you for your question on celibacy and the decisions you are making.  Remember that my answers are based on A Course in Miracles (ACIM) and I donít know how much you know about the Course, but it is all about the decisions we are making and which side of the split mind (ego or God) we are using for interpretation.  The other important aspect is that the content, or the mind as I just stated, is what matters; what you are doing in form, i.e., your behaviors in this world donít count.  This world isnít real.  Itís in the mind.

What Iím trying to say is that the Course is not concerned with you wanting to be celibate.  It would be concerned with the mind you are choosing in the decision to do so.    From your question, you can see that you are basing your decision on having been in a relationship with someone who treated you ďlike crap,Ē and sex is ďall men want,Ē and then ďitís best if you keep away from them.Ē  Those would be decisions based on the ego mind as they are judgments, or decisions with negative meanings.  They seem like they will keep you safe and solve the problems; but ultimately, the source of fear and guilt in your mind is what needs to be addressed.

Itís okay to be celibate while you work through what you are feeling.  The key is not to ignore the judgments in your mind and what you are feeling.  If we repressed them, it will get projected out and come back on us again.   Additionally, the hidden decision that is getting made is to be ďon your ownĒ which is one of the key aspects of the original decision to agree with the ego instead of God and be on our own.  That always leads to more unhappiness.  What you can do is ask Jesus, God or Holy Spirit to join you (in your mind) and help you correct the conditions in your mind as those are behind the ego decisions getting made.

Letís also look at your very first sentence about the best way to renounce the world without compromising on happiness.  As I just said, being on your own is a sure way to not be happy because it is ego driven.  Itís not that you should go and get into a relationship, but you might want to consider the feeling of isolation that engenders.  Ultimately, the very same ego mindset that chose it, will also come to resent it and youíll get other things coming up like anxiety, resentment, fear, guilt, hate, anger, feeling alone, etc.

In the Course, the world is all in our mind and is the result of agreeing with the ego idea of separation.  To renounce the world is to deny the ego meanings youíve given the world and things in it.  The result of that is being mindless which always leads to feeling helpless.   The ego likes to get you to agree with denying this world so you wonít take responsibility for the choices youíve made, look within your mind, and make different choices.  In short, itís another way to perpetuate the ego cycle of guilt and make you think thereís no way out.  You end up feeling even more powerless and helpless.  

The direct approach to all Iíve been talking about is to not deny how you feel and look at it. You have the power of choice, or decision, on your side. Even in your mind, what seems real and true is usually not and if you go by how something feels, you can tell that it is not loving to yourself or others.  Those are things that you want to merely choose to give up.  You donít have to know what to do; but you have to be willing not to keep certain thoughts.  The goal is to correct your mind (forgiveness) of these ego thoughts which are judgments.  Those are what always change and are behind unhappiness.  Choosing what is constant, the Love of God, is happiness because it never changes.

Please let me know if you have questions or need clarification.  I never know how much experience someone has with the Course; but Iím here if you would like me to explain something else.  

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Delilah Jaemes


I answer all questions regarding A Course in Miracles - ACIM which is taught on two levels - the metaphysics (theory) and practical application in our daily lives where we come to understand the meaning of the text. There's no way around you having to do the hard work even if you ask for clarification about the Course or how to apply the principles to your daily life or a situation. Please note: I do not answer for those in personal crisis and in need of counseling as the kindest thing can be for you to receive help on that level and then come back to the Course when you are able. This is not a race or competition to get it first. We're all in this together for we are a part of each other so please be kind and gentle to yourself and others.


I have a website: http://spiritualguidancecoach.com and there I have posted numerous articles authored by me (which are available on EzineArticles.com as well). My website also contains Youtube videos and a Quote of the Week that is changed every Sunday. You are welcome to contact me through the website as well as here and I will email a response. Please check the blog for past questions and answers, videos, articles, etc. Further information about my experience is available on my website; however, as always, experience of studying the text (theory) and putting what it says into practice is how we gain that 'experience' over lots of time - yet we all remain both students and teachers until the end of our journey.

I don't belong to organizations. In my experience, most of the groups and organizations for A Course in Miracles are not practicing the Course. They are practicing the ego - specialness and differences - and they are turning the Course into a religion (without realizing they are doing so) and therefore distorting it's true meaning. The Course is individual practice and groups are merely for socializing and practicing forgiveness. I personally refer to the Foundation for A Course in Miracles (FACIM) and the Foundation for Inner Peace; but I don't view them as an organizations but rather as a place for clarification since they stay true to the Course.

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I have studied about the ego most of my life and been a student and practitioner of A Course in Miracles since the early 1990's. The Course is something that takes a lifetime to practice and learn, so remember that everyone is a teacher and student at the same time. Only when we actually put the Course into practice and study the text do we come to understand what it means. I will answer to the best of my ability and learning; and I will do my best to get out the way and let the Holy Spirit answer you in the way most helpful to you. It is actually His job to be your teacher (instead of the ego) if you will allow Him; and so the only way for me to be helpful is to let Him be in charge.

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