Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/I don't know what my purpose is or calling


All of my life I have been told I'm special and I know I am. I was very curious about the spiritual world in my teen years and started mediating and learn everything about the spiritual world. I've been on this path over 10 years. I do feel that I am going through a dark night of the soul. Not really sure, but I had a lot of loses this year that has put me in a depression like stage or spiritual depression and I am fighting the pain that I've been carrying so long. I have no ideal what to do with my life and where to go. I don't know what God wants me to do, but I know I love helping people and I am in the medical field. I believe thats where I'm suppose to be.

Any advice would be good, Thanks.

Jim Dreaver
Jim Dreaver  

We are Beautiful as We Are
We are Beautiful as We  
Dear Chloe,

When the student is ready, the teacher appears!

Below is Lesson # 27, from my new PSF, WE ARE BEAUTIFUL AS WE ARE, The Dark Night of the Soul.

If you want to check out more about the book itself, go to:


You WILL find freedom - you cannot help but do so.

After all, it's your true nature!



27.   The Dark Night of the Soul

As we explore these deeper, unconscious thoughts and drives, we may even find ourselves having a “dark night of the soul” experience, where the existential pain becomes such that our lives feel devoid of meaning and purpose.

Many of us are afraid of the dark, and the last thing we want to do is look into it, especially the darkness within us. We feel very vulnerable, yet this vulnerability, if we can learn to be present with it, is our edge, is the place where a deeper level of growth, learning, and freedom occurs.

There’s an old Irish saying: “If we run away from a ghost, it will chase us and haunt us for the rest of our life. But if we stop and turn and face it, it will disappear, because ghosts aren’t real.”

We’ve got to learn how to be with these “ghosts” of the past, to ride the current of intense suffering, if need be, and stay with it even as it’s kicking our very ass. We may have to take frequent breaks, “coming up for air” to clear our heads and become more present, before diving back in again wrestle whatever “demon” we’re grappling with.

Then, eventually things will settle down. The more we stay with the energy of inner turmoil, no matter how dark or fearful it is, the freer we become of it. We have to be a warrior to do this.

We have to be really present with these feelings, this deeper angst. We have to breathe into them, and be very alert, watchful, almost like a scientist in our curiosity to discover what is true in us.

Stay the course, face whatever intense suffering our particular “dark night” experience brings up, and—sooner or later—we will experience a true breakthrough, and light will dawn again.

The sooner we turn within a face our demons, the quicker they disappear.  

Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment

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Jim Dreaver


I can answer any existential question - i.e. "Who am I?" "What am I here to do?" and "What is the meaning of life?"


I was on a spiritual journey for twenty years before awakening to my true nature. Am a regular teacher at Esalen Institute (www.esalen.org). Website www.jimdreaver.com

See www.endyourstory.com, the website of my most recent book, END YOUR STORY, BEGIN YOUR LIFE.

Four years postgraduate/doctoral degree

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