Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/problem with self-control


i have 2 problems sir.
my first problem is that From the last few days, lust has entered in my mind. I send messages to strange and unknown girls to make them my friend.I am a college student living in hostel. My parents live in another city. I don't have any best friend or close friend here.I don't know how to overcome my loneliness. Sometimes my heart wants to have a girlfriend, whom i can say I love you. Sometimes i desperately want that someone should be there who can give me hugs and kisses with unconditional love as i got from my parents and elders when i was a small child. I don't understand what to do.What should I do to control myself?

my 2nd problem is that I am not able to control myself and therefore, i usually waste my time indulging in facebook,quora,sometimes watching sex scenes in the movies or the internet rather than studying.Facebook and internet surfing gives more pleasure than studying but i have to study because exams are near. What should I do? How can I force myself to study instead of wasting time on the Internet?

Hello Gopal,

Both the above problems look related. I would like to answer you as mentioned below:

Many students go through what is happening to you these days..so just be relax. It is good you are aware of the fact that these things lead to wastage of your time which you could have better utilised to study.

We all like to be loved, that is what we feel is our birth right. Two points to think here.1. Do you love yourself first? Looking into your questions you don't seems to, if you cannot love yourself then how will someone else love. Secondly you need to be loving and not love seeking...If you are loving you become the source of love.. or love itself...feel things by heart not physically.

I would Suggest everyday you sit silently on your own, for 15 mins to half an hour. And see what is going through your mind.just observe your thoughts which come to your mind and don't relate with it. Continue this till you study.

This will make thoughts subsidise while you study so that you can focus more.

Try transcendental meditation. Check online.

Another technique if you have time. Do the things what you have been doing to waste your time and energy for a day or more untill.u feel.bored. Then will be able to.focus more on your studies.

Don't force yourself to study..if.the thoughts go away along with the last and.love desires.you would then able.to,study

Regards and all.the best.

Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment

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All questions related to spiritual growth process, dealing with real life situations with a Zorba mind. Every problem is no problem. Creating a state of awareness and consciousness through meditation as a tool. Meditation practices and techniques for all to reach a state of no mind. Assist seekers to live a life in peace and harmony with self and the world at large along with self growth in a process to attain or know the truth.


I am a meditation facilitator in India. Have been certified meditation facilitator from Pune, India. Have done good amount of research and reading into spiritual practices and meditation techniques from Zen, Sufism and more. This is still a continuous process of evolving. See this forum as an opportunity for self growth and also some assistance to seekers of truth or like minded people. Practicing yoga and meditation is the most part of my life in my path of self growth as a spiritual person or a healer or a facilitator.

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