Spiritual Awakening, Growth, and Enlightenment/Life
Hello my name is Keishia. I have been struggling with my own mind and thoughts for a while now. My relationships have ended quick and even though they are usually the reason I always seem to blame myself. I have anxiety problems which doesn't help either. Could you give me some advice on how to think more positively so I can attract a more positive relationship and just be more positive in general? Thank you.
I wrote the following on positive thinking in my book, END YOUR STORY, BEGIN YOUR LIFE which you can find on www.amazon.com - it's also available as an audio book.
The main thing is that if ever you are going go be truly happy and fulfilled in life, you need to find out who this "Keishia" really is, and my book will guide you in that discovery.
People sometimes ask me about the value of positive thinking. On another occasion, Jean said: “If you are going to think, it is better to think positively than negatively.”
The limitation of negative thinking is obvious: stressful, anxiety-producing thoughts like, “Oh, my God, everything seems so hopeless!” or “I just can’t take this anymore!” result in feelings of unhappiness and depression.
The limitation of positive thinking is not so obvious, because positive thoughts, such as “I can succeed at this,” or “I feel wonderfully clear and relaxed inside,” have a correspondingly positive effect on the psyche. They fill us with optimism. They can make us feel good. They give us a lift.
Yet what is the motive behind adopting positive thinking as a way of being? Invariably, it is to support and reinforce the ego’s desire for meaning and security. This need is based on the belief that, if I just think positively, good things will happen to me, my life will improve, and I will be a happy human being.
It is coming from the old paradigm of do, have, be, where you are still looking outside yourself for fulfillment. Do this first—think and act positively—and you will have the circumstances allowing you to be happy. The problem is, your inner peace and happiness are then dependent upon what you have, and thus is always conditional.
The awakened paradigm for living is characterized by the rule of “be first, and then do, so you can have.” You learn to be at peace within yourself through the three-step practice, and through understanding the teaching you are not your thoughts or your story. The more you do the practice and remember the teaching, the more you are at peace, regardless of what is going on outside with other people, or your life situation.
Lao Tzu said, in the Tao Te Ching: “The way to do is to be.”Authentic action, doing, flows naturally out of being. Then, out of being content and at ease in the present, you not only do what you love to do, but what you feel called to do, or whatever needs to be done.
Awakened or not, what you do results in having certain outcomes manifest—the fruits of your actions, whether in relationships, work, health, recreation, or finances. The big difference with awakening is, since you already are at peace within and not dependent on these things for inner peace and well-being, you will be able to fully enjoy the results. The outer gifts are like a bonus, icing on the proverbial cake of life.
However, in answer to the question about positive thinking, affirming the statement “To be awake and conscious is my natural state of being” is definitely more helpful than saying “Life sucks” and then feeling hopeless.
But the awakening to inner freedom is our natural, felt state of being. We didn’t create it. It already and always is. To truly discover it, the mind must be free of all thought, especially the “I” or “me” thought. Our true, awakened nature is discovered here, now.