Expert: CougarDomme - 10/9/2008

Question
I am a new Domme with a newbie slaveboy. We have both been interested the BDSM scene but never involved in a D/s relationship. He is in fact my boyfriend and "outside the bedroom" we are equals in a totally "normal", happy, and loving relationship. My inquiry relates to what goes on "inside the bedroom". We are mostly into puppy play and bondage. We have already set some rules and have discussed how far we are willing to take things and all that jazz. However due to the fact that we are both new to BDSM neither of us are positive on how he should be trained. I've never had to train a slave and he's never been trained before. I was wondering how I should handle this process. What all should I be training him to do exactly? And what methods of punishments and rewards do you suggest throughout his training?

Answer
NOTHIHNG is essential in this lifestyle, not pain, bisexuality, humiliation, only if you like it and it is acceptable to you. If it's not, it's not. REMEMBER: You always, ALWAYS, have the right to say, "no".  Respect is essential in this lifestyle, and it is EARNED, not given, demanded or expected, both from you and to you. You are NOT required to accept anything. Training is specific to YOUR sub, no one else can train him to be what you want. Love is essential to this lifestyle as well...don't let anyone tell you it's not.  Those of us that are lifestyle Dommes want a submissive who is proud of what he is and is as selective about whom he gives his gift to as we are whose gift we receive.