Expert: CougarDomme - 10/3/2008

Question
QUESTION: Hello
It has been Master and I for the last 8 month in the last 2 month she has asked me to find a bi Female to join us. I thought he meant for the weekend away that I planed away so he could de stress from all the work. needless to say I found a Polly house hold who 3 girl had just lost their Master and are in search of one..... I asked if they where interested in coming to our weekend away y so my Master could have some fun... of course I told my Master that I have found him a girl then giggled and said well three and filled him in.... he said great and said then set it up... then about a few days latter I’m told if I want to own them as well you will be my number one.... I here is where I need help.... I have been a sub my while life but never found my true place as an owned sub. This is my 1st Master and yes he told me he did want a girl for me to play with when he was a way so much.....  I do have a 5 yr old child that is not Master and for this reason we do not live in the same home. But now over the last few days he wants my thought on owning the 3 girls I told him I don’t know......He would live with them and visit me because of my son till it would be time to buy the right home where I would have my own place with my son and the girls have there’s while all living in the same home.... I can’t see myself being able to do this I have told him and he said you will be fine.  I think my question is how do I get over this emotional wave? and not hold it against Master ? and how do I integrate in a Polly house hold that has been together for over 5 years? ... and what is being the number one really mean in a Polly home?

Michelle


ANSWER: What this means is that you are the Alpha sub. You are the Mistress of the other three girls and you answer only to Master.  The other 3 girls answer to you and Master but in his absence you are Master in a poly home. They are your submissives now too as you are the Alpha sub. It is a position of great prestige in the scene to be an Alpha sub as very few subs have what it takes to be an Alpha sub.

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QUESTION: What does it take to be an Alpha sub? ...I'm not a switch at all... does this mean I must learn how to?

Answer
NOTHING is essential in this lifestyle, not pain, bisexuality, humiliation, only if you like it and it is acceptable to you. If it's not, it's not. REMEMBER: You always, ALWAYS, have the right to say, "no" even if you are collared. When looking for a Dom, find one who suits what you want and what you are looking for. Ask questions!! TONS of questions and expect answers. If he will not answer your questions, then run fast and far. Respect is essential in this lifestyle, and it is EARNED, not given, demanded or expected, both from you and to you. You are NOT required to accept anything. Don't settle. And multiple subs is not an essential part of this lifestyle either. If you don't wish to share your Dom with others, then say so. That is YOUR choice, not his. Also be suspicious of a Dom that does not want you to tell others who he is, he's hiding something. Training is specific to YOUR Dom, no one else can train you to be what he wants. Love is essential to this lifestyle as well...don't let anyone tell you it's not. "Playmates" are just that, I suppose a vanilla woman could call those she sleeps with "playmates". If that is acceptable to you, fine. If not, say no. Most lifestyle Dom/mes are not interested in doormats. I can buy a doormat at WalMart for five bucks. REMEMBER: You have a mouth, a backbone and a brain, use all 3 copiously. Do not grovel, whine, demand, crawl, kneel or offer the gift of your submission to any male. That devaluates your gift. There are FAR MORE Doms wanting subs that there are uncollared subs, so don't put up with bullshit for one minute!