Expert: Master Shadow - 10/10/2008

Question
Dear Master Shadow,

thank you for taking the time to read my question and consider a thoughtful answer.

I have played with a Dom in the past, but he was not very well versed (natural talent without skills).  He and I are just friends, and I am at the point in my life where I want to find a mate.

I have recently met someone very special and as it turns out, he is very well versed as a dom and used to be very active in the community.

This being the case, I want to make sure that I handle myself correctly with him in this new territory dynamic.

We have not had sex yet.  Things are very hot, but we both want to let the emo/psycho side become better established before being intimate.

I don't think I want the D/s aspect to be the footing on which we establish our sex.  I think I would prefer it to be and aspect of our sex ultimately; however, I am not entirely certain... any thoughts or feelings on that?

Also, when we do engage in D/s physically for the first time, do you have any advice on how I might best handle myself so I bring something wonderful to his experience?  Given the fact that he has so much more experience in this regard, I feel a bit intimidated (which is odd for me because I am typically very confident about myself as a lover).

Thank you again for taking the time to talk to me.

Sincerely,
Kerri

Answer
Personally, I keep the sex and bdsm separate as much as possible, for personal reasons. I would approach the relationship with honor, respect, and excitement. Show Him how much you want to please. Show that your servitude is from the heart, and how much it means to you.

I would be somewhat demure, allowing Him to lead you in the ways that He enjoys. Obviously, dressing in something special, wearing His favorite perfume, things like that. Make this union special in His eyes as well as yours. Remember, this will be the first time, and so should be memorable.

The proper lighting, music, and the like can make a difference. I would also cook a very special meal for Him on the day you become intimate. This will set the mood for later, when the two of you become intimate.

Don't just prepare the meal, but actually do  serve to the best of your ability. Do it as if it is the most important thing in the world, which, to you, it is. There is nothing more important than pleasing your Dom or Master. It should be first in your mind at all times during this event.

Also, be sure to thank him for giving you His attention. It's often the little things that matter most, and are remembered the longest. Make the night something to remember.

Best of luck in Y/your Journey together!


                                             SINcerely in Leather,
                                             Master Shadow.