Expert: awhitecloud - 11/22/2008

Question
My boyfriend and i have been together for over a year - in what i guess is
called a "vanilla" relationship. He and I recently disclosed to each other that
we both have interests in BDSM. I feel I have been naturally submissive to him
this whole time - but i'd like to explore more.  I did spend the last 6 months
exploring online (at his suggestion) - and we decided that we would like to
incorporate this into our relationship now.
The Problem? He wants me to call him Sir.. Simple enough i'm sure - and
even something i was kind of almost able to do with strangers online that i
was exploring with (although i was never comfortable with it and it seemed
fake to me).  I have spent 2 years calling him by his REAL  name, or Baby or
Babe.. and now i'm supposed to just start calling him Sir? I just can't. i can do
anything else but this is just too weird for me. plus he's 9 years younger than
me.
We have great communication so we have discussed this, but he is very hurt
that i have a hang up on this and asked me to even just choose another
name. but i can't think of anything that isn't weird or role-playish.. I
eventually want this to become 24/7, not bedroom play.
HOW HOW HOW do i get over this? Do i just jump in and do it? do i not do it
and stick to my guns on this?
Help?!?!

Answer
Fist let me apologize for taking so long to answer this as my pc went down and I have not been able to get into a place to work on line. I am so sorry I do not like to be away for this long.

Now to learn to call him Sir is not so hard yes it will take reminders on his side to train you into learning to do this a new way.  He can help you to learn when and how he wants to Sir used it is not just you needing to change.  It is called training and it can be done for a number of different things.

He can just be nice and remind you to use Sir, I get the whole thing of being overwhelmed when you have not called him this before, and it just looks like a large thing to change.  But in time it will change and it will be easier then you think. Just take each day as learning he will guide and direct you to when he wants it used and how. That is his job to lead and to direct you along the path he wishes you both to be on.

Keep talking with him on it and let him lead and direct you on it.  I understand the Sir thing more this year then ever before as I have a new understanding on where Dom’s are from subs.  Sub’s want unconditional love and Dom’s well they want unconditional respect and that is a sign of the respect he needs and wants.   So just talk with him as him to lead and direct you and to help you learn this new way of being.  Do not look at the large picture just look at each day as it comes.

Hang in there keep talking and just try your best to change has he wishes that is all anyone can ask of you.

Thank you,

awhitecloud