Expert: CougarDomme - 11/24/2008

Question
I am a newbie at this and my Master wishes us to met in person for the 1st time we have been doing most of it online and on the phone. what might i expet and how safe is ti to met yout Master for the 1st time

Answer
Online training is a joke and most Dom/mes that do online are vastly different in real life.  Set up a safe call.  MAKE SURE SOMEONE KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND WHO YOU ARE SEEING.  Do not let him pick you up frome the airport or get into a car with him!!  MEET IN A PUBLIC PLACE--LIKE A BUSY RESTAURANT OR MALL!!! Women disappear all the time and no one ever finds them until it's too late. BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL!!  You only know what this "Dom" has told you and it could all be total bullshit.  Take a stamped self-addressed envelope with you and another addressed to someone you trust.  Make a copy of his driver's license and put it in the envelope and PUT IT IN A MAILBOX!! Send the other copy to your friend and tell her if you aren't back in X amount of time to notify the police and tell then you are meetinig with a stranger and that this is a copy of his license and he hasn't brought you home yet and you're overdue. Keep the following in mind: NOTHIHNG is essential in this lifestyle, not pain, bisexuality, humiliation, only if you like it and it is acceptable to you. If it's not, it's not. REMEMBER: You always, ALWAYS, have the right to say, "no". Even if you are collared. When looking for a Dom/me, find one who suits what you want and what you are looking for. Ask questions!! TONS of questions and expect answers. If s/he will not answer your questions, then run fast and far. Respect is essential in this lifestyle, and it is EARNED, not given, demanded or expected, both from you and to you. You are NOT required to accept anything. Don't settle. And multiple subs is not an essential part of this lifestyle either. If you don't wish to share your Dom/me with others, then say so. That is YOUR choice, not hers. Also be suspicious of a Dom/me that does not want you to tell others who s/he is. She's hiding something. It is common for women here to play several men and that is a sure indication. Training is specific to YOUR Dom/me, no one else can train you to be what s/he wants. It is my opinion that people who only train online are simply looking for someone to play with without the commitment of a collar. Personally I don't believe in training collars, collars of consideration or anything preliminary to a collar of commitment. Love is essential to this lifestyle as well...don't let anyone tell you it's not. "Playmates" are just that, I suppose a vanilla woman could call those she sleeps with "playmates". If that is acceptable to you, fine. If not, say no. Most lifestyle Dom/mes are not interested in doormats. I can buy a doormat at WalMart for five bucks. REMEMBER: You have a mouth, a backbone and a brain, use all 3 copiously. Do not grovel, whine, demand, crawl, kneel or offer the gift of your submission to any fe/male that walks into a chat room with Dom/me in name or profile. That devaluates your gift. Those of us that are lifestyle Dom/mes want a submissive who is proud of what he is and is as selective about whom he gives his gift to as we are who's gift we receive. On first meeting of someone you have found here that you think might suit you, never, NEVER play. That is akin to putting a loaded gun in the hands of a stranger on the street and putting the barrel at your head. This is NOT a time for "Macho". I don't care how strong you are, when you're tied up, you're vulnerable. Your life is in that person's hands. And regardless of how many times you talk to them on line or on the phone, you still don't know them. BE CAREFUL!! Anyway, choose someone who suits you, be selective, and ask tons of questions. I know the ratio between Dom/mes and subs is great, and the ratio between good ones is even greater. Just be patient, be picky and have fun.