Expert: arani_CsA - 11/11/2008

Question
hi..we are a couple; I am Dom and she is sub. we are seeking a female slave to join us at home. since collarme seems to be for playing only, i was wondering if you may know a site for people looking for r/l. thank you!

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

I have to confess that I really dislike hearing the term "real-life" used to describe off-line relationships.  I have been in three different on-line M/s relationships, and the feelings and the sense of surrender felt in each one was every bit as intense as that I feel now that I am privileged to live with my Master.  I merely served these other men in the way they wanted me to serve them (the duty of any well-trained slave), by interacting with them on line.

That said, the best way to meet a partner for off-line interactions is to get off the computer.  I suggest that you get involved with a BDSM group that meets in your area.  (You can find a listing of them, by state, at http://www.drkdesyre.com)  These groups will typically have an on-line forum at Yahoo or another similar site, for chatting and for exchanging information, but will also get together regularly for face-to-face interactions.  One of the most common ways that members meet and get to know one another is through "munches," or social gatherings at a local restaurant.  When you get to know some of the members better, and earn their trust, you may be invited to a play party or a local dungeon for diversions of another kind.

By meeting with people in this manner, you can get to know them on a more personal level than by simply exchanging e-mails or IMs.  You can watch how they interact with other people, and find out more about them from these other people.  You can also meet other couples who share your interests, and might be able to introduce you to single subs they know.  You can watch how these couples play with each other, and get ideas that you can use yourself.

I will also state that bringing a third person into any relationship is a very tricky business.  Not everyone can do it, and it doesn't necessarily mean that a woman is a bad sub because she can't.  All it means is that she is self-aware enough to realize her own limitations.  I've known many women (and men) who were badly hurt because they jumped into a poly relationship when they weren't ready for it, or because their chosen partner(s) weren't.  For instance, your sub may get a real rush out of seeing you flogging another woman, but she may not feel the same thrill when you choose which one of the two you will spend the night with (and it isn't her).  

I wish you good fortune, and much luck finding the relationship you both crave.  If you have any further questions, feel free to bring them to me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius