Expert: arani_CsA - 12/27/2008

Question
I am hoping with your experience and background you can help me. I have recently entered into a Master/slave Gorean type relationship.  It's in the beginning stages and I still have much to learn.  So far my Master seems pleased with my progress except when it comes to begging.  He says that I am terrible at it and every time I try to beg for something he says no.  When I asked him to teach me to beg he laughed and said girl do I have to teach you everything.  How do you learn to beg properly??  I have tried to find resources to help and I am not finding much. I am currently reading the kajira of Gor book in hopes I will pick up something from that and I thought I had it down.  I spoke only in 3rd person, I was courteous, I was pleading but not whining, complimenting and respectful of my Master, yet he was still displeased. What am I doing wrong?  At this rate I will never earn the right to beg his collar. I really want to please my Master, can you help me?  Thank You.

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

Begging in slaves is not something I have seen a lot of information on, around the web, especially in the Gorean world.  I have seen some writings on the subject of petitioning, in the mainstream M/s or D/s world, which often pertains to the submissive or slave presenting a detailed statement (often written) pertaining to why they want to be collared by a particular Master.  You might try extending your search to include this.

Part of your answer may lie in acclimating yourself to the thought processes required of a Gorean slave, which are very different from those of a BDSM slave.  Basically, a kajira is considered a worthless creature, of less value than a dog or even a piece of furniture.  She exists only for the purpose of providing for the Master's pleasure -- her own pleasure is not important.  It doesn't matter whether she enjoys what she is being told to do or not, or whether she enjoys being a slave.  She must simply do it.  And, perversely, she will receive her greatest thrill when being reminded of this very fact.  (I know that I do.)  All of the rituals that are associated with Gorean life, such as speaking in the third person or kneeling or even wearing a collar, are designed to remind the slave of her place in society.

If you have not already learned the Gorean slave positions, I would encourage you to learn them now and make use of them.  I have descriptions of about 30 of them on my website, at http://www.geocities.com/dancer_of_gor  Some positions that can come in handy when begging include belly, the collaring position, and especially the obeisance position.  It would also do you well to learn how to stand for inspection, if you have not already done so.

But, again, what's most important in the Gorean world is not the rituals, but the thought processes that either inspire the rituals or that are displayed through their use.  A close familiarity with the Gorean philosophy, which encompasses far more than just Master/slave relations, will do you well here.  It's not just an understanding of how men and women relate to each other as Master and slave, but how they relate to the world at large, and how they feel about themselves as part of that world.  

When begging, bear in mind that you don't deserve what you are asking for.  You don't deserve this man's collar, or even the crumbs from his table.  Even the slightest favor -- a look, a touch, the privilege of being allowed to serve -- can send you into raptures of ecstasy.  Even being allowed near enough to beg for anything makes you wet with desire, and just his nearness to you can bring you to the point of orgasm -- precisely because you know that you don't deserve it.  

Petitioning for a collar often requires detailed proof that you understand your place in the world, and that you understand what will be expected of you when you wear that collar.  Paradoxically, it also means that you prove your training, that you are to be highly valued as a result of that training, and that you know your training will never end.  But even a highly-trained dog is still just a dog, and can never hope to be the equal of its owner.  Often this petition will be written out, either to be presented to the Master in that form, or as a means of helping the slave to assemble her thoughts and organize them in such a way as to be pleasing to the Master.

You will hear Goreans say that a slave should not feel pride.  This is true, and yet she should at the same time feel confident in her accomplishments, and approach her Master with intelligence and initiative and creativity, and the skills that allow her to observe his actions and interpret them when he doesn't allow her the words to tell her what he thinks and wants.

But, perhaps most important of all, keep trying.  If one thing doesn't work, then file that away in your mind and try something else.  If one thing doesn't work, but you see the smallest glimmer of pleasure in your Master's eyes, then you know you are on the right track.  

Good luck to you, and if you have any further questions, feel free to bring them to me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius