Expert: arani_CsA - 12/14/2008

Question
I am submissive man to my dminant loing temr partner. I enjoy being her slave and we enjoysex from vanila to all sort ok kink.
Recently she asked that she want me to be raped by a man.
I beleive I am straight but agreed to please her.
She tiied me spread legs and found a man o nthe net who used me orally and anally and ejaculated in my mouth.

I ddi not enjoy it, did not like it and male sperm made me "sick"
now, she wanted me to do it again with other men as she enjoys my humilation so much.

Should I agree again to please her?
and if I agree is there any way for a "straight" man like me to enjoy gay sex?

Answer
Hello...

Thank you for coming to me with your question.  I hope I can help you find the answers you are looking for.

I am going to base my answer on your statement that you are a submissive.  Since you are not a slave, you are entitled to limits and safe-words, and to negotiate such things with your Domme.  This is very important in a D/s relationship, as consensuality is a must.  In other words, while your Domme should push your limits and encourage you to do new things (some of which might be frightening at first), she should not force you to do anything.  If you are truly forced into having sex, then that is real rape and not simulated.  

There are many heterosexual ("straight") submissives, males and females, who are instructed to have intercourse with someone of the same sex for the pleasure of their Dominants.  This does not mean that they have become homosexual, or even that they have tendencies toward such things.  It merely means that they are pleasing their Dominant.  Humiliation is also a very big part of the D/s experience, especially for males.  If you enjoyed the experience, the excitement for her would be much less.

But humiliation is something that should be used with caution.  With some submissives, it should be used sparingly or not at all.  Speaking strictly for myself, I don't respond at all well to humiliation.  It causes me intense psychological pain that is not at all pleasant for me or for my Master.  But I find degradation extremely thrilling.  I love being reminded of my place as a slave, by wearing a collar or being called a "slut" while I'm in the middle of an orgasm, or by being told to do something that I don't like to do for the pleasure of my Master.  But, here's the difference.  I am a slave; it doesn't matter whether I like what I'm being told to do.  You're a submissive, and your pleasure is just as important (or more so) than that of your Domme.  That's what being a submissive is all about.

As to whether you should agree to having sex with other men to please your Domme, there are a few things to think about.  First of all, are you being protected from AIDS and other STDs?  Do you have a negative HIV test result from the other man involved?  It is the responsibility of your Domme to protect you from harm.  And by protecting you, she is also protecting herself from anything that you might give her.  Also, if this is something that is repulsive to you, you DO have the right to say no.  Ask your Domme if you can re-negotiate your limits.  In the end, though, you may have to decide if you can serve this woman or not, knowing that she may require you to do things that are upsetting to you.

If I have misunderstood, and you are a slave, then it simply doesn't matter whether you enjoy what you are being told to do, or whether it upsets you.  Even so, this is still a consensual relationship, and your Domme still has the responsibility of protecting her property.  Those who say that slaves have no limits are very mistaken.  They just go about asserting those limits differently.  For example, before my Master collared me, I carefully informed him that I have a bad heart and certain physical limitations that make certain forms of service dangerous.  But I trusted him to make that decision for me.  Had he insisted on my doing certain things, I would have had to rethink my commitment to his service.  

I suggest that you and your Domme spend some time determining whether you are slave or submissive.  If you are submissive, then ask to re-negotiate your contract to take these new forms of service into consideration.  Then expect her to abide by this contract as much as you do, and demand that she protect you (her property) from psychological and emotional harm as well as the physical kind.

Here are some good places for more information, if you have not already seen them:
http://www.castlerealm.com
http://www.leathernroses.com
http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html
http://www.wizdomme.com

Good luck to you.  If you have any further questions, feel free to bring them to me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius