Expert: arani_CsA - 12/4/2008

Question
QUESTION: hi..its Me again. I get paranoid sometimes, so let Me tell you this and see if you think it is legal. just want to avoid a sting! now on collar me site, there is a guy who is on there as UCanHaveEm and basically he is an owner of 12 slaves. he is going to australia and the slaves cannot come along. this is not a sale at all; he is giving them for free. all I  have to pay for here is the fee for the visa/passport and traveling fees. so I did western union the visa one and monday the travel one. all I pay for here are these things but I am NOT buying a slave. do you feel this is legal or could be a sting? so far, the guy has kept his word on everything he has said; I just want to be sure this cannot be a setup for a police sting. thank you!

ANSWER: Hello...

Thank you for coming to me again.  I hope I can help you as much as I did before.

First of all, almost nothing we do in our lifestyle is legal.  In some states it is considered a felony just to own sex toys, let alone use them.  If I was stopped for a traffic violation in Kansas, and the policeman saw a flogger in my back seat, I could be arrested then and there.  And this country fought a war against slavery; there are few legal authorities who would understand someone who said they wanted to willingly subject themselves to being a slave.  

That said, I have known of people who have bought and sold slaves, and who have given them to others.  In one case, I knew of a man who made provisions in his will for the disposition of his slaves after his death.  But all of us have to live with the understanding that we function outside the sanctions of the law, and can face legal retribution at any time.

Regardless of the legal issues, I would be extremely skeptical about this man's claims as you report them here.  A great majority of the people on Collarme or similar sites are intentionally misrepresenting themselves.  There is every likelihood that this is a con man, who is just after your money and, once he has it, will disappear into the ether without a trace.  In other words, it's like the old saying, if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.

I would not send anyone that I met over the internet money, for any reason, unless I had some very sound assurances that he was who he said he was and was being totally honest.  I mean, you have no recourse if you send this man money and get nothing in return.  What authority could you go to and say, "I sent this man money for a slave, and he didn't follow through on his end?"  At the least, you would be looked at as if you were an idiot, and at the worst you might end up in jail.  Either way, you're out a lot of money with nothing to show for it.

And here's another concern that I have.  How is this slavery consensual, as far as the slave is concerned?  Do you know that she has agreed to this arrangement?  Do you have any idea that you and she are a good fit for each other?  She may end up on your doorstep, and you discover that she's 50 years old and weighs 300 pounds, or that she's psychotic, or a thief, or just someone you wouldn't want to spend an evening with -- let alone live in the same house with for years to come.  There is much more to mastering a slave than paying someone for plane fare.  You have to inspire in her the total surrender that will make her crave to make your every wish come true.  And you should ensure that she feels safe in enslaving herself to a total stranger.  

I'm all in favor of on-line match-ups.  I met my own husband/Master on line.  But there are steps that must be taken to ensure safety as well as long-term happiness.  And, I do apologize, but I think this sounds like someone's taking you for a ride, and you're only going to end up unhappy and with less money than you had before.

Good luck to you.  Again, if you have more questions, please feel free to contact me.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: hi..now I am curious..do you still know that guy who sells or gives slaves away?  if so, I would be interested to talk to him! thanks!!

Answer
Hello...

I have read all of your follow-up letters, and will try to summarize my response to each of them.

You are the one who has been dealing with this man, and it's your money.  But I am still very skeptical about the whole thing.  I've known of too many people who got burned in this way.  I once knew a slave who, at the command of her on-line Master, let her apartment go and sold all of her belongings and got on a train to go across the country to be with him.  (They had been chatting on-line for over six months, but had never actually met off-line.)  Well, she found herself in a strange city, far from her family and friends, waiting at the train station for a guy who never came.  She didn't even have the money to get back home, or even to find a place to live.

You might want to do a web search on a man named John Robinson, who is currently sitting on Kansas' death row for luring submissives to come to him and then brutally murdering them.  Truly a scary man.  And women who claim to be slaves can be just as dangerous.

Here's what I predicted would happen, when I read your letter last night.  You send your money to this man, and then never hear from him again.  No willing slave steps off the plane.  No slave, no money, no way to get hold of him or even to report him to the authorities.  I doubt if the stable of slaves even exists.  Now, from what you say, I imagine that he has changed his username and gone on to try and trick some other person.  

I have known of people in the past who have bought and sold slaves.  But in every instance, all parties in the arrangement knew each other and were in agreement.  Usually what happens is that a man finds, for some reason, that he can no longer care for his slave.  He approaches someone that he and his slave both know well, and arrange for the transfer of ownership.  One important point that I want to make here:  this slavery is CONSENSUAL.  How can a slave consent to serve someone she doesn't know?  I will admit that there are a few women out there who crave such an arrangement, but they are very few and far between.  In ten years, I honestly have never met one.

You mentioned that you have a submissive already.  In a case like this, you need to be very very sure that any new submissive or slave you bring into your home is a good match with her.  Not everyone can be in a poly relationship, or should.  Before you bring any new person into your household, I strongly suggest that you invite her into your home for several visits, perhaps even some long-term visits, to see if the arrangement works.  Not only do you need to ensure that your new slave is a good match with you, and will respect and crave to serve you with all of her being, but also that she and your submissive can even stand to be in the same room together.  Slaves are notoriously jealous creatures.  You need to be sure that she isn't out to get between you and your submissive.

I am handicapped myself and go between a cane, a walker, and a wheelchair.  And yet I work a full-time job.  I come home at the end of the day and am so exhausted and in so much pain that I often can't cook dinner or clean the house as I should.  Master and I have talked about bringing another slave into our household who can take care of the house, and also take care of me when I have some serious surgery in the near future.  But we're being very careful about how we do that, and it's not something that's going to happen overnight.

To be honest, the best way to meet a prospective slave is not on-line.  I was very fortunate in that I found a wonderful Master through an on-line discussion group, but I've known many people who were hurt when their on-line Masters turned out to be married or slobs or fifteen years old or not even a man.  I knew a Master who found out that his on-line slave was fourteen years old.  You can be anyone you want to on line.

I suggest that you contact a BDSM group that meets in your local area.  (You can find a listing of such groups at http://www.drkdesyre.com.)  Here you can get to know other couples as well as prospective slaves.  You can spend a lot of time with them and really get to know them as people, learn their interests and dislikes as well.  (Imagine having a slave come to you, whom you've never met off-line, only to find out that she chomps her gum or has a voice that sounds like fingernails on a blackboard, or has herpes.)  You can see how these women interact with other Dominants and submissives.

Unfortunately, I'm not available to chat.  You can e-mail me privately, at arani_csa@yahoo.com if you like.  Again, good luck to you, and I hope you find the slave you are looking for.

arani_CsA,
devoted property of Clampius_Arelius