You are here:

BDSM/Long distance dom relationship

Advertisement

Expert: Lady Aryana - 2/26/2008


Question
ive know the person in question for about a year and a half and over the past months have started a long distance don relationship i give her tasks and she does it. problem is the most we can seem to think of on the sexual side of things is standard masturbation we are both trying to think of things she could get in a pharmacy or general store to spice thing up abit. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Answer
Ashley,
I will answer this with some assumptions. Since it was raised with BDSM in mind, I will assume that some pain may be okay.

I believe the use of clothes pins on nibbles and other genitalia can spice things up. Of course there is also the leading up to the actual event. Such as having her wear a particular under garment that she is not used to, to remind her that she is in for a unique time.

Some other things could be the use of some naturals to heighten the excitement. Tiger balm or cough drops with menthol, rubbed on sensitive skin areas can most certainly do the trick at times.

Beside these, you can also help the closeness as a whole by starting to manipulate the environment. For instance, you both buying the same air freshener, same fragrances, or something along that line. This establishes some closeness. Smelling the same smells at the same time. Of course, this also helps in creating the bond when you are out of touch.

I would also suggest sending her a shirt that has been worn by you for several days, so she can smell your presense as well.

I may not have given you to many ideas here, however, maybe you can use these as a jumping off point, or maybe something here has gotten your own creative juices flowing.

Have a great day.

Sky's pet Kayra

BDSM

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.