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BDSM/bdsm roleplay and long distance

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Expert: Lady Aryana - 2/9/2008


Question
ok here it goes
i am in a relationship with a master but i'm also a dom myself
it's long distance but i'm going to be moving in with him in may until around august
i've always wanted to do  roleplay especially rape roleplay
but i don't know how to bring up the subject to him
also i know every article i've read on it says to have a safe word only problem is i want to be gagged and choked so  i can't use my mouth
any ideas would be very helpful how do i go about telling him what and how i want things done and with the lack of a safe word how can we do this safely?
thank you very much

Answer
Tabitha,

Let me suggest to you, write him a story, or find one you like that has a scene with rape in it. This opens the lines of talking. Rape is actually a big fantasy of allot of women *and men for that matter* Once you both talk about it, you can decide what is and isn't going to happen.

Another thing I suggest, since you are worried about safe word.. Use a ball. Have it in your hand *a nerf ball or something along that line* If things get out of hand, release the ball, this is a signal for him that something is wrong, and it needs to be taken care of. Another thing is, a action you wouldn't do in a rape. Fighting is a sign of rape so lets say you fall completely still. There are many things you can do. You both just need to agree to something and use it every time. Don't change for each scene. This is be not just for rape, but for any scene you are in where you are gagged. Public or private.

Good luck

Kayra

BDSM

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Lady Aryana

Expertise

Fem Dom relationships, Male Dom/fem slave, Master/slave relationships M/f, F/f, Long Distance relationships, Leather community, Old Guard, Victorn Lifestyle, BDSM play, Community support, Full time slavery and submission *living together, and how to adjust, protocols, and so forth. Email groups for help with finding others in your area. HOH or DD relationships. I was collared to my Master, then we married Sept 25 2003. I am no longer in a relationship with him, although as D/s has always been a part of me I am still active in looking for a relationship either DD or D/s, or simply learning more in order to help others.

Experience

I have been in long distance relationship that were D/s relationships. I have owned both male and female slaves/submissive, I have been both a real time slave, submissive, and submissive wife. I am not in a committed relationship at the moment although I am in a DD based relationship which has a very strong sense of D/s although it is NON sexual. I am not collared, and I still am always on the look for others to play with around me, and at the moment I have to male slaves who would like to submit. Simply haven't had the time or place to do that yet. I know many egroups who can offer support. I have been active in the BDSM community and a DM for play parties. I have been active for the last 22 yrs in BDSM in one way or another

Organizations
I was active in the GA community when I lived there. I belong to the local BDSM community in AL, Belong to PEP, and other BDSM clubs over the yrs.

Publications
Egroups, Blogs, Journals, And some story writings.

Education/Credentials
Have taken work shops for different BDSM events. Attended SELF given demo's, Been a DM for play parties and private and public clubs. Attending gathering of both D/s, Spanking lifestyles. I have been active in HOH and DD relationships. I was active in the leather community while living in GA. I was trained Victorian and Old Guard. I have trained both Master's and Mistress' along with slaves in the yrs I have been in BDSM.

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