Expert: Oscar G. - 2/5/2008

Question
i am a 51 yr ole married female and i have been in online bdsm for past 12 yrs...my hubbie is vanilla though i am so interested in the lifestyle...my hubbie knows of my online adventure i will call i......can anyone help me, as i am also a christian woman seeking advice.....is "what i do online" concidered adultrey? or wrong in Gods' eyes? my hubbie knows of me being online and does not disapprove.   thanks

Answer
Dear Godiva:

I would be the last person judging you on having fun and exploring new feelings and sensations. If you have been chatting and having some naughty fun for 12 years and your Hubbie knows and consents, I doubt you are doing something wrong. You know inside yourself, that you love and trust your Husband and  he does the same for you. I believe that as long as you only keep it online and your partner is OK with it you should not feel much guilt, if at all.
If you venture outside and act upon stuff, then it may be a different story. If you feel tempted to do it, is perhaps another sign to slow down and/or back off a bit. But if you  are ok and know you will only be  online fun, it harms no one as long as the other people on the other side know as well you cannot meet them in person.

I think it is only adultery if you actually do something face to face, and without knowledge and consent of your partner. The rest of the world can go and mind their own business otherwise, since I think God is very flexible and understanding of circumstances and you are not hurting yourself  or your husband and your relationship is working. If something else negative sprouts from Bdsm online, perhaps you should, then, review if it affects you or someone else in a negative way and correct it.
Other than that, be safe, be careful, have fun and be respectful of everyone, including you husband and yourself.
Be well.
Oscar G.