Expert: Oscar G. - 2/26/2008

Question
Is being collared by a virgin is as rare as it feels to U/us? He is 22 and i am 19. When i was collared, Master and i were not dating yet because of the long-distance factour, but He was a virgin and i had been with one other man. i love my Master, and He loves me, but W/we have always been curious about the virgin factour. Thank You for Your time.

Answer
Hello Mimi:

Virginity is a double edged sword. In one hand is something to be treasured and appreciated by the holder and the recipient of the commitment they are about to embark together.
Sounds like a marriage vow, doesn't it? It used to be such the case before.  
These days any kind of virginity is looked more like lack of experience  more than a  cherished experience to share with someone very special. I guess the problem comes that the first sexual experiences, while thrilling, are sometimes clumsy, furtive and not all that cracked up to be.

However BDSM wise it is not unheard off for young couples to learn their chosen/natural roles with each other, as opposed to getting experience elsewhere. It goes back to the old catch-22. How to get experience if I do not have a job, and how can I get a job without experience? Either you volunteer  to get experience elsewhere without getting paid at first, or find someone to take a chance on a newcomer.
Couples usually  trust each other and communicate to try this mutual learning experience among themselves the first time around.

Also adding to the complexity is a distance relationship. While you can get to know the mind and feelings or somebody. Face to face dynamics are different and reality has some weight to how people behave to each other as opposed to online. But you are young and open and the feeling of uneasiness will fade. My best recommendation for you both is to communicate well, trust each other and confide mutually. But also reading more about the topic and skill workshops are not a bad idea to share. Anything can be used to enhance your experience and self discovery and become all you can be. No one is born knowing everything, and learning takes time. SO you are fortunate to have each other and be on the same path learning together.
Share and Enjoy.
Be well. Have fun and Be safe.
Oscar G.