Expert: Mistress Violette - 3/27/2008

Question
 I am quite interested in becoming a human pet, not a pony-girl or someone's slave.  I am willing to submit to and serve a master of some sort, but I still crave love and affection.  Is this a bdsm practice, or simply an odd fetish I have?  
 If you can give me any information, that would be fantastic!

Answer
Hello, Charlotte,

I think you're asking not if being a "pet" is possible but if having a certain type of relationship is possible within BDSM. The short answer is yes. Now let me give you the long answer and tell you why I think that.

People tend to gravitate to others who have a similar style. Because they do things the same way, it's convenient to put a label on a particular way of doing things. Most people in the group will understand what the label describes. The problem comes when they move outside the particular group and try to use the label. Some people will understand exactly what they mean, others will read their own definitions into it. When this happens with BDSM it can be particularly confusing. A fundamental thing to remember about BDSM is that it can take many forms and be as unique as the people who practice it. So, slaves and pony girls and anyone else who submits can be in loving, committed relationships or in casual play relationships. What defines the type of relationship in the people involved, not the activity. So, yes, it's quite possible to serve a master who will give love and affection and be happy to receive the same from you.

If your goal is to become a human pet in a loving relationship, there's no reason why you shouldn't achieve that. Your chances of success are increased the more you can explain what that means to you. For instance, some people will hear the term and think you want to eat and drink from bowls on the floor. Others will think it means you want to be directed but also cuddled and pampered. And some others will think only of reciprocal affection within a power exchange relationship. Just be sure you can explain what you mean, what you're looking to give and to get in a relationship. I'm willing to bet that, no matter what your personal definition is, there are others with similar inclinations.

You asked for information. I think what you need is some general information on BDSM, so you can appreciate that it's a broad category with a lot of variation. I have some favorite resources that I'll list at the end of this message. I think after you've sampled some of the information you'll see that just about anything is possible. I hope this helps and I wish you the best in your explorations. If I can help more, please feel free to ask another question.

Mistress Violette

Sites:

http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html
http://sexuality.org/ (seach for BDSM and related terms)
http://gloriabrame.com/
http://www.domsubfriends.com/1home.shtml
http://www.leathernroses.com/lnrhome.htm
http://www.leatherviews.com/

Books:

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism  by Philip Miller and Molly Devon
Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by William Brame and Gloria Brame
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction  by Jay Wiseman
Ties That Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style: Issues, Commentaries and Advice by Guy Baldwin and Joseph W. Bean
SlaveCraft: Roadmaps for Erotic Servitude--Principles, Skills and Tools  by Guy Baldwin