Expert: awhitecloud - 3/25/2008

Question
Hi, I am a 24 year old male from England.  I am quite a good looking
lad and don't really have any problem getting the girls, the only problem
is I am confused as to what turns me on at the moment.

Since i was about 15 I have fantasied about silk and satin ladies
underwear and the idea of being forced to wear them.  I even went through a
stage of getting some then wearing them just for pleasure, not as a
normal item of clothing.  I then met a girlfriend at 17 and did nothing
and thought nothing about it.  It was more the pleasure of seeing the
silk and satin on her that i liked and she knew it.  I was with her for
about 3 years.

But after we broke up I found a pair of her silk knickers and I tried
them on.   It kinda has spiraled since then.  The next GF i had one
night actually wanted me to wear a pair of her knickers as a joke i think
(she knew nothing about my fetish) and that was awesome, however i kinda
from then subtly let her know i liked it and i think that turned her
off completely and now we are not with eachother.

I dont own any pairs now but often think about it.  My picture porn
collection on my pc is all ladies in silk and satin.  When i think sexual
thoughts, the only way i am finding that i can get aroused is if i
think of being dominated, force femmed or humiliated in some way.  It
started with just the knickers and being in them and having normal sex, now
i imagine being fully femmed and humiliated in front of people.  

Each web site has led me to another, i like reading stories on it and
the fetish has now spread to... small p*enis humiliation,strapon (not
imagining it in a gay way but as a humiating act being performed and the
woman laughing) and more recently and worryingly fantasies involving
cuckolding with me dressed as a sissy and one of my ex gf's having sex
with a 'real man'.

I have also for some time now been going to sissy chat rooms as such
and roleplaying fantasies where i have been hypnotised and are 'forced'
to carry out acts that the chatroom dom wants e.g, 'go put your
housemates knickers on' etc etc.. but some far more humilating.  I wouold then
pretend to go along with it.

I am confused as to what i can do about this.  Is there a way to maybe
reverse it? like maybe become a more dominant person?  I would love to
live out ojne of these fantasies but I cant see how much of a future
they have if i want to start a family or have a normal rlationship let
alone what my family and friends would say if they found out.  I guess
there are a couple of questions here, but more just for me to be able to
write out what i am going through and to see if you have heard of it
before?  Thank you in advance


Answer
Ok, I am some confused now as well here.  

“Since i was about 15 I have fantasied about silk and satin ladies
underwear and the idea of being forced to wear them.”

Then you say at the end of your letter!

“ Is there a way to maybe reverse it? like maybe become a more dominant person?”

Well now if this has been something that is a part of your turn ons why would you want to reverse it?  Why not find a Dominate person who will give you what you are seeking?

I know many men that are in a mode of submission in their homes and they are still having happy families.  Being a submissive and livening and acting out what gets you on is not wrong nor does it stop one from having a family and being like the rest of the world.  Or rather what you think inside you is the rest of the world.  Far more are doing this then you may think.

I think you need to seek out munches and other groups in your local area and get to know some like minded people so that you will better understand yourself and what it is that you seek.  On line chat rooms are so far different from the real world and what people are doing.  Yes they allow you a chance to explore and to do things but it is much different when you can live it with another.

I would never tell or even ask another to try and make go away what they feel and know deep inside of them, that is wrong, you should be able to find someone and explore and act on your fantasies and enjoy life the best that you can.  Hiding or changing what you are is not the way to go for a good mental healthy you.  Embrace what you like and enjoy, get like minded friends if nothing more then to help you have an experience of real life in your dream and see where it takes you in the end.

Thanks for the letter I learn more about people with each one I receive, and I am so sorry for my delay in answering as I have been busy in the real world. Please forgive me and my lack of getting to the mail sooner.  

awhitecloud